Articles Tagged: Inspiration

CHANGING THE WORLD BEGINS WITH ME (2 Cents)

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

No one can get away without changing the world. Everything you do effects something else, either for the good or the bad. It is inevitable.

In a huge machine, things work better when the individual parts are taken care of. So if you do your part, the world can be a better place. For every nice deed done by you, good is pushed into the universe forcing a little bad out. So I’ll do my part, if you do yours.

“So divinely is the world organized that everyone of us, in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

Two Hearts

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

When I was 17, I wanted a tattoo, but my mother refused.   She said I was to young to get something permanent on my body.  I was stubborn and didn’t listen, so I grabbed my friends I.D. and went to the tattoo parlor.

It was two weeks before my 18th birthday, and I was surrounded by walls and books full of pictures.

Lil backround.  I had graduated at 16.  I was working and had my own apartment.  I had been in love twice.  My first had taken my virginity and captured my intellect.  Plus my mom hated him.  More than that, he made me think, and I loved that.  He was older, more sexual, and so he cheated.  I broke it off.

Three years later, it happened again.  He made me furious.  He was constantly challenging my ability to deal with other people, which was hard for me.  He was toxic, but I loved him anyway.

I was still in love, but no longer with him when I was standing around all these pictures.  I saw it and I realized my mother was wrong.  I was old enough to realize something that would last my entire life.

Two major loves should be enough to know exactly what you want.  I’m not talking casual dating, I never did that.  I’m talking making yourself sick love.  You should know whick qualities you want and those that should send off red flags.  Even if those are attractive qualities to you, that’s what the arrows’ for.  Never forget the lessons learned in the first two.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Keep on a straight path to finding what you really want.  The blood dripping?  Let it go.  Don’t hold the next man accountable for your past.

In a nutshell, its my philosophy on love.  It can be summed up by Maya Angelo.  “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

Patiently Waiting

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

Patiently waiting

For the changes inevitable to life

Those that surprise

Even when expected

Nothing more shocking

Though heavily anticipated

Maybe longed for, yet repressed

Boiling to the top

Latent but growing

Fingertips twitch

Shoulders tense

Lips pursed and ready to strike

Confused by the reaction

Never can be prepared

For Life

That Feeling

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

Nothing

But a feeling

An Invisible something

willing you forward

Questioned by those who ignore

That Feeling

It’s not materialistic

It’s soul searching

Where X marks the spot

Unseen to those who don’t search it out

Unknown to those who block out pain

Instead of dealing

It’s overwhelmingly strong

But bendable to emotion

When invited in, it takes hold

And shapes

And fills

And recreates

That Feeling

An invisible something

willing you forward.

Don’t question, Just Feel

That Feeling

He’s in my Soul

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

This is not a site about God. I don’t intend to convert you, nor will I try to save you, but I must tell how much I love the lord. If he had ever touched your life than you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve never felt him, then your missing out. PEER PRESSURE PEER PRESSURE. No just kidding but I could tell you a little bout my life and then you could see why this section is a must.

When I was 17 I was working at Pizza Hut and I got really sick. I mean passing out, they called the ambulance sick. They ran test for days before my aunt told them to test for CROHN’S. She had it and to her it sounded like I had it to.

I wish she had been wrong, but………

So I just graduated high school, a year early mind you, and here I am balled into knots being poked and prodded. I want to say, I never asked why, but that would be a lie.

I possessed one of the seven deadly sins, strongly. I was so vain. I had been complemented on my stomach so many times, I couldn’t imagine having a big scar, so I suffered. For two years, I suffered, because I didn’t want a scar.

I finally broke down. I couldn’t take another week in the hospital. I was missing so much of my life being sick all the time. I had the surgery.

It took me almost five years to realize how CROHN’S had saved my life.

Prior to getting sick, I hated my home life. I did anything I could not to go home at night. I stayed in shitty hotels with my boyfriend and friends, hung around while drugs were sold, and put myself in really bad situations. I liked bad boys and they come with bad things.

When I got sick, I wasn’t able to hang out like I had before. I would get sick and have to go home in the middle of hanging out, and since I was the one with the car, anyone who came with me would have to leave to. People stopped asking for rides and I stopped offering them. I withdrew into myself and there I stayed until I had the surgery.

So five years later, I made a trip back to my hometown. Everybody I used to chill with, were still in the same place. Literally. I could go to the same spots we hung out at as teenagers and these adults were still there. That’s when it hit me.

That could have been me. If I hadn’t got sick, that would have been me. That’s when I opened my heart and begged the lord for forgiveness. I had questioned him, not knowing what the intended plan was. I prayed to take the disease instead of praying for the strength to get through it. That’s my testimony. That’s how I know God is real and he has a plan for me.