Remembering What’s Important
October 23rd, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson
I’ve been absent the last couple of days attending to my daughter. Thanks for all the prayers sent out to her. She came through fine and at 3:00 today, she was back to being her up upbeat, loving self. Thank you, Lord.
When I got home, my answering machine was full of messages. I thought how special it was that so many people cared about the well being of my daughter. Then I got hit, right in the gut, with a reality check. My father was found on the side of the road unconscious with a fever of 106. They don’t know if he just has a bad case of the flu or if he had a minor stroke.
My dad and I had a wonderful relationship when I was a child. My favorite moment came when I was about 7 or 8. My dad used to let me sit on his lap and drive his favorite truck. One day I drove his truck into the ditch. I remember being so scared until I heard him laughing. He wasn’t mad, he just asked if I was O.K.
As the years went past our relationship changed. I think some where along the way he forgot how to show affection. And that caused our relationship to stray. We barely speak now, only talking when I take my daughter to see him. And when they get together they forget I exist.
Today though, I had to take a look back on my life again. I had to think about what my father meant to me and what I want my daughter to think of her father. Sometimes I think I get to personal on this thing but fuck it.
When they say a daughter looks for a man like her father, I have to believe it’s true. I found one just like my father. A hard worker that will walk through fire to make sure you are O.K. physically but they don’t know how to treat emotional pain. So today when I was sad, my man asked if I wanted to get my hair done this weekend.
I no longer point out the ineffectiveness of buying away pain, at least for me. I understand it’s just his way of trying to get me to feel better. If I look good, then I’ll feel good. But a new hair style won’t make me forget my father is in the hospital. It won’t make me forget they can’t figure out exactly what’s wrong with him.
Temporary things don’t change the problems. Yes, you can go out and get a new dress but does it eliminate the problems that made you so sad in the beginning. The question becomes what’s really important?
Family is always important. Education is always important. What about your personal well being? Alot of us were brought up by parents that didn’t have much. They turn around and try to give us everything. They want to make sure we have the shoes they could never get. They want to make sure we have a car when we are able to drive. They forget to give us what they had. The confidence that fighting for what’s right is the answer.
And we grow up not knowing any better. So today I recaptured what’s important. Trying to give my daughter the things I did have. A mother that stresses the importance of learning. A father that stresses hard work and cleanliness. An aunt that stresses self confidence. An uncle that stresses imagination. Grandparents that pass down hard learned lessons. You know, all the things you and I had but overlooked because we wanted Nike’s.
I urge you all to take a look back to set the future. That doesn’t mean look back at all the problems and try to find someone to blame. Look back on the decisions you’ve made and think were they really that important. Think back on how you were raised and see if you are teaching your child the lessons you’ve already learned. Because that’s what’s really important.
