December 12th, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson
I titled the entry with a date, as I had done every significant event that happened to me since I left Richmond. When my mind got racing I had to write down my thoughts quick. When I was home Lena would have listened. I wouldn’t have needed to look at a calendar to figure out the date. May 4th. I gasped for air. All thoughts of why I had ventured into Sean’s room disappeared.
It was our anniversary. I wondered if he had thought of me today. Did he go to our spot and spark a blunt? Did he let Toni Braxton float through his radio waves to remember how I felt? I didn’t even remember what day it was.
I pushed the thoughts out of my head fast. I opened the safe and pulled out the best weed I had. I moved the stacks of hundred dollar bills that blocked the little glad lock containers of weed I kept. I grabbed the NYC Diesel. I heard Sean in the back of my mind telling me I over think on the D. I pulled the Heavy Duty Fruity from the corner backing.
“This should lighten the mood a little bit.” I said out loud.
“Did you forget I was out here?”
“Ain’t nobody forgot about you. Answer the door when Lob knocks in a few minutes.” Then I thought of all the shit she had been through tonight. It tickled me a little a bit. I’m surprised that she wasn’t in a rush to leave. I giggled to myself again and softened my attitude just a little. “Just Lob in and nobody else. Please?” I said after a short pause. I listened for her to respond, but instead I heard the locks begin to unclick. Then I heard Lob’s voice clear and less rapid than it had been earlier.
“I’ll be out in just a second.” I shouted as I locked the safe with the key and scrambled the numbers on the combination spinner. I rolled down the Ashanti poster, Sean used to cover the hole in the wall that held the safe. I pinned the bottom down with thumbtacks. I grabbed the dirty gun from under Sean’s pillow. He had found it and brought it home. Other kids bring home stray dogs or cats. My boy brings home guns.
I stuck the gun in the front of my waistband. I stopped and listened to make sure I didn’t hear any voice other than Lob. News travels fast around the hood. He could all ready know Goldie ain’t protecting me any more. I heard him and Trish laughing. I had only seen Lob laugh when he was real drunk. I stuck my head out the door and there they were chatting it up on the couch.
Trish had a real way of talking to people. She could deal with people feeding her bullshit, without getting upset. Then she even managed to get her way. She could pull information out of people, but I didn’t know if she was capable of using that info to hurt people. I had a lot of questions about how Trish would handle The Life.
I opened the door and Trish got up. I asked her to wait in my bedroom for a minute. She did with no objection. Before she disappeared she turned around a flashed Lob a smile. He smirked and nodded back, then she continued down the hallway into my room.
When the door clicked, Lob began to talk. “Goldie was supposed to make four major deliveries today. He’s got a lot of very hungry niggas out looking for him. Nobody seen him, heard from him since those shots popped off earlier. I’m the only one that knows he was here.” I put my hand up and he stopped. I got up and started to pace the floor in the same tracks that Goldie had traced earlier. Lob attempted to start talking again, but I gave him a look that made him adjust himself in the chair. I didn’t know what to think. I paced a couple more steps then motioned for him to finish speaking.
“I don’t know exactly what’s going on out there. I’m making sure that no one can get close to here though. I got your block tight, but the other areas can’t be controlled right now.”
“How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing. Just stay in the crib.”
“You never do anything for free. What’s the catch? Coming back to get me later?”
“Come on now.”
“You don’t do anything for free. Why should I trust you if you won’t accept my money?”
“I’ve been paid already. You couldn’t match what I’m being paid to keep you safe. Just stay in the crib and I’ll be back later.”
“Paid by who?” I asked in a calm voice, then once again in a much louder demanding voice as he continued to walk away without an answer. I rushed in front of the door to block him from exiting. “Paid by who?” I glared into his eyes making sure not to blink, making sure he knew that I was serious.
“Look, you’ll be safe tonight. Just stay inside please.” He said in an almost pleading manner. I moved out the way and let him pass. “Lock the door. I’ll be back in a little bit to check on you.” Then he closed the door. I stood there staring blankly. “Lock the door.” I heard him yell from the outside. I began locking the door when I heard him yell “Thank you.”
I went into Sean’s bedroom and rolled up. I was so deep in thought, I didn’t even remember breaking the weed up, opening the wrap, or even lighting up. I snapped back into reality when the Heavy duty made me choke. I inhaled again before I finished coughing, which only caused me to cough harder.
“You wanna hit this?”
“Naw. Can I come in?’
“Just give me a sec okay.”
‘What else could happen tonight. What else could possibly go wrong?’ I thought to myself as I noticed my notebook on the bed. Sean, where are you?