Browsing: Conservative Whisper

Sacrificing Human Need For Material Want

March 7th, 2011 | By

As it usually happens for me, I can’t sleep and I there is nothing on the 300 channels I pay an arm and a leg to receive.   So, I stop on “Spanglish”, and laugh as the Hispanic Maid ripped the sides out of a outfit too small to fit her bosses daughter.  Just as my interest was fading, I heard an important argument I would like to share.  To paraphrase, all women yearn to be thick and full.  When they sacrifice that basic human  need to be fed and well nourished for fashion, they begin to hate everything associated with thick and full.  They find fault in women who don’t care about their waistlines, starve themselves with fad diets, and exercise until they drop; all in an attempt to disassociate themselves from their betrayal of human nature.

Is this not common?  Doesn’t every human, in some form or fashion, attempt to cut themselves off from human reality to live in the world of material want.  Some case studies, please:

  1. If you sacrifice freedom for safety, you deserve neither.   The most basic human need is to be free.  When we let Terrorist change our way of life with their deadly acts, we are, in fact, turning over our sovereignty to them.  We begin to limit Free Speech, criticize a Free Press, abandon a Free Market and gain comfort to enjoy of Materialistic lives.
  2. If you sacrifice love for money, you will forget how to love.  After freedom comes acceptance and we all want to be loved.  A person who pledges their devotion because of dollars, will not be spouse of the year, parent of the year, or friend of the year.  Once that threshold has been crossed, that person will sacrifice anyone or anything for their material possessions.   
  3. What profits a man to gain the whole wide world and lose his soul?  While we have a basic need for acceptance, we also have a Heavenly duty to obey God.  We begin to let Pastors, Profits, and Politicians lead us, whether they are obeying the scripture or not, and we dismiss those feelings in our gut that tell us it’s our time to stand alone. 
  4. If you sacrifice life for comfort, you will have a dis-comfortable life.  There is nothing more natural in all of creation than reproduction.  When we turn our backs on that human characteristic, it lowers us below beast, most of whom would fight to the death to protect their offspring.   Death for the living is easy to justify when you already accept death for the unborn.
  5. If you sacrifice financial independence for reparations, reparation will always be needed.  The basic human need to provide for yourself and your family, turned over to someone else’s management.  Is this why, with an 10.3% unemployment rate, their are jobs Americans won’t take?  Is this why we are losing the honor once awarded for hard work? 

Are we sacrificing the important things for they things that don’t really matter?  How safe can you be without freedom?  You can figure out the rest of the questions and ponder this:  What have you sacrificed today?

Restoring Honor Reflection: My Right to be Selfish

September 2nd, 2010 | By

I’m BACK!!!!!!!  I know, I know  I’ve been away to long and you’re all wondering what I’ve been up to.  In a nutshell, I was looking at my reflection in the mirror.  I won’t lie to you, I’ve been going through personal turmoil the last 40 days and the mirror tells no tales.  I’ve acknowledged my tears, smiles, and those awkward faces you make when you’re thinking really hard about something that hardly matters.  Oh yeah, my reflection has been my friend for the last 40 days.

So, how fitting that  this weekend’s Glenn Beck Restoring Honor Rally mentions the true need for reflection and correction in our lives.  What a way to end my 40 days.

And this has to be said on my part.  For the critics of Glenn Beck who question his religion, judge him on his inability to separate himself from his religion, or scoff at his gull of openly speaking about his religion, I will pray for you.  Trust and believe that’s not what I really wanted to say but it will suffice for this article.

With that being said, what did I learn about myself in the last 40 days? 

  1. I’ve learned to accept my own growth.  There will always be people who remember me as I once was.  But I have the Right to be Selfish and decide to see only what I am now.  I find no joy in rehashing sins I’ve already turned over to God.  I find no happiness in holding old grudges that God is already in the process of working out.  It profits me none to turn away from God’s word and live by someone else’s memory of who I should be.
  2. I’ve learned I’ve alwasy been a problem creator, now I’m a problem solver.  My rebellious teenage years caused me more problems than I realized.  Not only did I act out against my parents, church, and school,  I let it seep into my mental process.  When a problem came along, mostly by my own creation, I could rationalize why it was everyone else’s fault.  But I have the Right to be Selfish and immediately ask of myself, ‘What could you have done differently?’  I don’t care who was wrong or right, it only matters that I fix those things which I control.
  3. I’ve learned walking in God’s Will shall reveal false prophets.  No one can tell me what God’s Will is.  I speak to God and ,in his mysterious way, he speaks back to me.  I question my language, tone, and subject selection.  I question my colored hair, short skirts, and the stero-type that comes along with those fashion decisions.  But, in the end, I have the Right to be Selfish and be exactly who God made me to be.  He has had his hand in every other decision I’ve made, so if its not broke……..
  4. I’ve learned some arguments are not worth having.  I’m the ultimate debater.  Very rarely is there a conversation that I run away from.  But I have the Right to be Selfish and decide where my time would be better spent.  It would be easy to assume I’m talking about politics but that’s way off base.  I’m talking about those everyday conversations that end up putting a crimp in your day.  The time spent talking about what you’re going to do, while you’re actually accomplishing nothing.  Time spent complaining about the things around you, while not lifting a finger to find a solution.  Time wasted on those who can point out every flaw you have but have this uncanny ability to forget they are also flawed.
  5. I’ve learned you can’t help everyone and sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is Pray God comes to their heart.  Always offer a hand when you see a person in need.  Always make yourself available to those who need to testify or need to hear your testimony.  Always humble yourself before trying to give advice, especially if its unsolicited advice.  But never take on someone else’s salvation.  I have the Right to be Selfish and accept that I am not God.  I am not omnipotent and all powerful, I am but flesh and bones.  While I can imagine what I want your life to look like, only you and God can make it a reality.
  6. Finally, I’ve learned not to get so wrapped up in your own reflection you forget the impression you leave on other people.  God made you in his image and that makes you beautiful.  Not because of the cosmetics you wear, the name-brands you sport, or the kicks you have on your feet and if that’s where you find your self-worth, those around you probably only see the superficial as well.  I have the Right to be Selfish and decide I want to be remembered for my words and actions.  I want to be worthy of the kind messages, well wishes, and constant encouragement I get from those around me and I can’t accomplish that staring at the mirror waiting for it to speak back to me.

I know all this Selfish talk can seem counter-productive but it’s the only solution we have.  We must make the choice to be SELFISH in following God’s word.   So it doesn’t matter what political party you vote for, they must be subservient to your true ideals and principles because you have left them no other option.  You are so steadfast in what you believe and what you stand for, it doesn’t matter the color of a person’s skin if they step out the boundaries of what you find acceptable.  You are so steeped in Truth that you can smell a lie a mile away and it forces other to be truthful in return.

The real truth is, these acts aren’t Selfish, self-serving, or easy.  These are the hardest paths to salvation.  You won’t get the life you’ve wished for, you’ll get the life God planned for you.  You won’t see progress devoid of any striff or disappointment.  You will relapse to old habits and find yourself on your knees asking what went wrong and praying for strength to make it through.  You will start to feel your life is totally out of control and the hits just keep coming.  But in the moments where you need to step out on faith, in the moments where you must speak up, in the moments when you’ve placed yourself so far out on a ledge you can’t see your way back, God will show up.  And if you can reflect back and know with certainty that every move you made was by God’s Will, you will  have no fear.  You will have no doubt.  And when they say you are trying to accomplish the impossible, you can say: “I Selfishly have the Right to say, All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.  Amen”

Black Billionaires and Multi-Millionaires under Bush: Hip Hop and Capitalism

January 17th, 2010 | By

Conservative Whisper

Question:  Why do Hip Hop Artist only talk about LIBERAL Policy when they talk about how broke they were, never when referring to how rich they are?

Answer:  Do as they DO not as they say.

During the 2008 election, the vast majority of Hip Hop Artists and Black Elite backed Barack Obama.  Some were direct and stated his black face won their approval.  Others were direct and stated racism of the past made them vote for Obama.  Yet, there was one group that lied through their teeth and stated hard times as a reason for “CHANGE”.   Surprise, Surprise  Most of them reached Billionaire or Multi-Millionaire status under President George W. Bush.

Back to the question at hand, name the Hip Hop song that promotes “Welfare as a mean to Wealth”.  Don’t get it twisted.  Not “Welfare to Riches” because most artist fit that category.  I mean the Hip Hop anthem that encourages public assistance as the pathway to the house on Cribs, the worldwide vacations, or the highly gas efficient Lambo Hybrid (yeah, right).

Question:  If life teaches lessons, why are the Black prevayers of Multi-million dollar businesses not truthfully sharing those lessons with the rest of the black community?

Answer: “Your single was 99cents, mine was Four bucks”  Jay-Z  or “I didn’t enter the game for the music, I did it for the business”  50 cent

They are!  You just hear it in the music, not in their endorsement of a candidate for office.  Hip Hop Artist and Black Elite separate the success they’ve garnered with the policies that got them there.  If you don’t believe me, here’s the proof:

All Under Bush

Oprah Winfrey– avid Obama supporter, yet no friend to the Hip Hop Community.  Oprah has been on T.V. for 25 years and made it on the Billionaire list in 2003.   I know what you’re thinking,  it took her time to build her audience, I agree.  In five years, all under that evil George W. Bush, Oprah tripled up.  She is now worth 2.7 Billion.  Look at the ratio, 20 years to 1 billion and 5 years to 1.7 billion. 

How?  Bush tax cuts that allowed her to invest in O magazine,, and Dr. Phil.  She got to keep her own money and made that money work for her.  That’s capitalism, yet she backs the “spread the wealth” candidate.   Oprah is spreading the wealth, think about all the people she employs.  Why won’t she back the capitalism that made her who she is and provides her opportunity to say, “you get a car, you get a car, you get a car”?

Bob Johnson– backed Hillary Clinton in Democratic Primaries and Obama in National Election.  The founder of BET made his fortune designing a successful business targeted at the black community.   In building his own financial security he provided numerous opportunities, behind and in-front of the camera, to the black community.  He provided Careers, not jobs, for a willing economic group.  Capitalism!  Let’s see how he fared under Bush.

Mr. Johnson was added to the Billionaire list in 2001.  Two years later he was dropped from list after divorce from wife (Yup, 50% straight down the middle).  In 2007 he recouped his loses and made it back to Billionaire Status, all under that evil Bush.  Hey, doesn’t he now own a NBA Basketball team?  Some dream of playing, others dream of owning the team.  Gotta love Freedom.

Jay-Z– Avid Because He’s Black Obama Voter.    (Remember this:  I can’t say I’ve never kneeled before God and asked for better cards, sometimes to no avail.  But I never sat back feeling sorry for myself.  If you don’t give me Heaven I raise Hell)

Let’s take Roca-wear, formed in 1999 as a basic collection of clothes.  During Evil Bush’s tax cuts, Roca-wear grew to purses, shoes, belts, jewelry; basically you name it, they have it.  Jay-Z opened 40/40 club, his own fragrance line, a vodka company, and a small stake in the New Jersery Nets.  His estimated value is around $720 million.

Now, while I’m a huge fan of “Reasonable Doubt” and ” Life and Times, Vol. 1″,  they didn’t sell like they should’ve.  That forces me to believe majority of his funds came during the Bush Administration.  I guess a little money to invest in yourself goes a long way.  (Would you like Liberal Version: I never kneeled before God and prayed for better cards cuz Government prevails. So I always sit back feeling sorry for myself.  They say this is Heaven, what’s hell?)

Ludacris-avid LIAR Obama Voter.   Ludacris made is preliminary fortune selling cd’s out the trunk of his car.  Say it with me, Capitalism.  I strongly dislike the music he produces, but I have to respect his business savvy.  He owns his own record label, has created his own line of Cognac, and owns multiple satellite radio stations.  Did I mention all under Bush?  His net worth is around $500 million.  Not bad.

Sean “Puffy” Combs– avid LIAR and Scare Tactic Obama Voter.  Seriously, hiding under a sheet afraid of a White Woman.  Why did he retain his black card?  He doesn’t make music anymore, at least music anyone listens too, I’m sure he suffered under evil Bush. 

No, Capitalism to the rescue.  Bad Boy (laugh), Sean John (Chi-ching), cologne and perfume, t.v. shows, and production companies (yup, check Run’s House credits).  He does it all and occasionally guest stars in a music video.  Those evil Bush Tax cuts garnered a mere $600 million for P. Diddy.

50 Cent– admittedly not interested Obama Voter.  Fifty didn’t drop his first CD until Bush was fully in office, let’s see how he’s fared. (Remember:  If I can’t do it, homie, it can’t be done.)

G-unit records, Vitamin water, clothing line, movies, production companies, and a promise this is only the beginning.  Wow, those tax cuts make it impossible for the little man to get ahead.  All under George W. Bush, Curtis 50cent Jackson has stacked over $500 million dollars.  (Could he do it with the Liberal Lyrics:  If Government can’t do it, homie, it can’t be done”?)

The proof lies in the number of zero’s lining these icons bank accounts.  None of them list welfare checks or extended unemployment as a major contribution to their uprising.  Instead, they all display belief in their individual abilities to succeed.  When they garner a small amount of success, they take those profits and reinvest in themselves.  That’s the beauty of Capitalism.  You are allowed to fail or succeed by your own desire. 

It is also the prevailing message in Hip Hop.  I sell more  than you, so I have a bigger car.  I’m hotter, so the hood feels me more.  We are in constant competition over who’s the best.  What is the difference in the competition between Exxon Mobil and Shell?  Or Ford and GM? 

It’s all capitalism and ignoring the similarities puts Hip Hop in a position of failure.  If $250,000 a year is rich, how do you think the Billionaires and Multi-millionaires will fare under Obama administration?  The Hip Hop Career creators will stop investing. (Have you heard Oprah turned over to broadcasting network and planned to cancel her show in 2011.  Wouldn’t have anything to do with those pesky taxes in the pipeline, would it?)

Not to mention, the over-whelming damage not acknowledging Capitalism creates in the inner city.  They can listen to a song and dream of living “the good life” but that same artist turns around and advocates for more public housing, food stamps, and overall government dependency.  When will Hip Hop draw the line and share the whole story about their success with the very people that need the most inspiration? 

 As Heard on


Did She Say That: 2010 Resolution

January 7th, 2010 | By

Conservative Whisper

A week into the New Year and I’m still working on a resolution.  By no means am I perfect or without flaws, but this year can’t be superficial.   This years’ resolution can’t be about outside appearance, personal wants, or unrealistic expectations.

I thought I had it.  I’ve been lax on decision making.  I postpone and put off easy and simple decisions and I’m not sure why.  So I prayed on it and received a message from God via FaceBook

 God has more in store for us then we can ever predict, and what we fear are bad choices frequently turn out for the best, because our hidden aspirations know better where we are going than our rational minds.

That sounds just like me.  My mind just isn’t ready to accept what the Lord has prepared for me, all it takes is faith.  Good, Problem Solved.  Yeah right, when is anything ever that simple?   I’ve experienced the battle of inner-faith with God.  I’ve tried to walk the path I thought best and failed, and I’ve walked God’s path and found light at the end of the tunnel; faith is not my issue.

So, I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to figure out exactly what is it that prevents me from making little decisions, even though I have faith that God is by my side and his will shall be done.    So God sent me another Message via FaceBook and this time he attached a member of his army.

Happy Warriors Needed, Nadra Enzi A.K.A. Capt. Black


I wasn’t that happy warrior.  Hey, wait.  I thought I was supposed to be focused on decision making, why is there now a question of my overall attitude?  Where’s the connection?  

After a conversation with Capt. Black, this is what I realized.  We all come from different circumstances.  We may live in the same communities, experience the same situations, and battle the same demons; yet we all have a different perspective on the same journey.   This is unavoidable, lonely, and the greatest gift anyone could ever hope to receive.  We all have the ability to take the same situation and make of it what we desire.

But we have to be willing to make the tough decisions.  How can you be sure of what you desire if you’re stuck between yes or no, stay or go, to forgive or not to forgive, or any other number of small questions we delay answering?    Before you say it, I know those questions that really stick us in place aren’t small, per se.  As we contemplate the outcome they seem huge, but are they really? 

Here’s the twist.  Before you can make a decision, you have to be in control of your own mind.   This is not a question of intelligence or wisdom, more of trust.  Alot of us have faith in God, what we lack is the basic trust in ourselves.  Who knows better the truth behind your indecision?  And if you’re anything like me, a vision just popped into your head and you understand why dieting isn’t working, your business is failing,  or you continue to overspend. 

It’s that little voice in the back of your head that says, “remember last time” or “it was so much easierwhen”.   As Capt. Black pointed out, “That’s the old part of you trying to hold on for its very existence.”  And you listen to that voice becausethe person you were got you to where you are, when everyone else from the same community, the same situation, battling the same demons didn’t make it.

We forget our communities have changed, our situation altered, yet the same demons are after us.  We get stuck due to our inabilityto trust our own personal growth, even though we are self aware, confident, and guided by faith.  We are still human, faulty, and bound to pauseor delay because we just don’t know what’s on the other side.

So the 2010 Resolution for Did She Say that is…..

Trust yourself to be wise enough, strong enough, confident enough, experienced enough, to make decisions, especially the mountains you’ve made of mole hills.

I Don’t Want To Grow Up: Difference Between Maturity and Growth

July 7th, 2009 | By

Conservative Whisper

Personal turmoil has brought about the fall of many great men/women. One’s ability to look at themselves, while still watching the mistakes and mishaps of others without judgment, is the true sign of maturity. One’s ability to actually act in alignment with their mature thoughts leads to growth.

Enough with the cliche’s and scattered words, it’s time to get personal with my blog for a second. I’m a mess. My thoughts and heart are pure, yet the air around me is filled with distractions and decisions to be made. Now the true fight begins.

Do I really want to grow up?

My struggles with God are well documented through this blog. My pride and perspective of self image, overshadows what God has in store for me. Well, that is no longer the case. In the last few weeks, I have been greatly humbled by the movement of God in my life.

Opportunities now present themselves on a daily basis, obstacles seem to move themselves out of my way, but there is a cost to all this. The maturity to accept these changes didn’t come easy. I struggled every step of the way. I’m getting lost in my words, so let me put it to you this way.

Imagine you grew up on barren land with dreams of one day finding a fruitful garden. You struggle and fight to survive inhospitable conditions to one day find your Eden, but it isn’t what you expect. The garden is full of weeds, it hasn’t rained in days, and the fruit is decaying on the branches, how could this be paradise?

Maturity allows you to see, you have made it out of the barren land. It gives you confidence that nothing in this world can break you because you have made it through the worst of times. It gives you hope that persistence in pursuing a dream can pay off. It gives you clarity to accept nothing good comes without some bad.

Sounds good, right? Now you have fruit, even if it’s wilted fruit. You can survive……………How long can you survive without doing some hard work in that garden? That’s growth. Growth comes with a vision of how bountiful and sustaining that garden can become. That vision becomes inspiration. That inspiration becomes effort and focus. That effort and focus becomes hard, back breaking work. That back breaking work becomes the garden you always imagined it would be, maybe more than you could have ever dreamed of.

I just found my Eden and it is full of weeds, it hasn’t rained in days, and the fruit doesn’t look that appealing to me.

To write anything else would be disingenuous. Believe me, I had this whole article thought out in my head. I’d give a little of myself and then leave you with some words of advice. Not this time. This time I ask that you pray for me, nothing more. I believe the future is bright, just right now, it is so bright I can’t see past my nose.

It’s On My Mind: Take One Step, Then Grow Up

March 24th, 2009 | By

Conservative Whisper

I’ve got a lot on my plate these days. Believe me, I’m not complaining. I’ve come a long way and I’m happy with my progress, but more money brings more problems. In this case, more success leads to more problems.

It’s the classic crabs in a barrel scenario. If someone sees you doing good, their first instinct in to try to pull you down. O.K. maybe it’s a second instinct. The first is when they choose to be a hater.

Whether it’s their first or second thought doesn’t matter, their intent is always the same; misery loves company and they are miserable.

Can I share a quick story?

Once upon a time, in a land that was gray and unforgiving, there lived a man. He was an ordinary man. He’d lived through immense struggles and conquered major hurdles to survive to a rip age of 25.

When he hit this magical number, he took inventory of his life. He didn’t have a steady job, no savings, he was barely able to keep a roof over his head, and he had no one that loved him with that special love. He realized his life wasn’t progressing as it should.

So, an angel came to the man. The man didn’t believe in angels. Where were the angels when he was hungry, lonely, or depressed by the hand he was dealt? Where was the angel when those around him with hearts of gold suffered immeasurable loss?

The angel told him there were lessons to be learned and as of yet, he never took one opportunity to learn from his mistakes. That’s why he couldn’t see her. He was so busy doing it his way, he paid no attention to the blessing being placed all around him.

Once the angel put the blame squarely at the Man’s feet, the man had no choice but to react. He called her every name but a child of God. This shocked the angel because she had watched him share what he didn’t have, help others when his hands and back were sore, and she watched as he took others’ problems and loaded them on his shoulders.

The angel responded, “Grow Up”. You have been put in a position to help others. You have lived a life I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, but you made it out and there is Love and Healing on the other side. But you have to be willing to accept it.


I think we are losing our way because we refuse to accept that we can actually solve our problems. I’ve been talking to a lot of different people lately, and I’ve come to this conclusion; everyone is aware of what problems exist, they just don’t care to solve them.

We all need to realize, it all starts with a single step. One step out on faith and mountains will move. We have moved mountains or have we forgotten?

But that one step means nothing if you don’t grow up after taking it. If you don’t realize that a problem is nothing but a solution waiting to be found, the problem will persist and fester. The next time you look back at the problem, it’s increases 10 fold.

We’ve looked back and placed blame, but when will we stop calling the problem everything but a child of God. When will we start calling on God to solve the problem.

Stop Fighting A Blessing

December 2nd, 2008 | By

Conservative Whisper

I’m not finished with all my lessons learned over Thanksgiving. I have written about blocking a blessing before but it’s time for a refresher.

Have you ever woke up and felt that it was going to be a great day? The aches and pains you had the night before have disappeared. Your child walks in and apologizes for the way they acted the day before. Your lover leaves a flower on the bed beside you. And you just know something good is going to happen today.

You feel so good, you decide to call out from work today. You plan on spending the entire day just feeling good.

Then halfway through your day, stuff starts falling apart. You get slammed with the headache from hell. The teacher calls and you have to go and pick your child up from school because he was fighting. While on your way, you spot your lover with another woman. And you are like, damn, I thought this was going to be a great day.

The next day it gets worse. You go back to work and find out the woman that sits next to you got a promotion the day you called out. That was your promotion. You have been praying for it. More money, less hours. Then the woman rubs it in.

“Girl, they were going to give the promotion to you but you called out. I’m glad you didn’t come to work yesterday.”

The first thing you do is go to God. You ask why is he punishing you.

If God could answer, I bet he would say, You Blocked Your Blessing.

See, you were praying for strength and for God to guide you. And he tried. He made sure you body wasn’t in pain so you could accept your promotion. He made sure you weren’t worrying about whether your son was mad or not. He made sure you weren’t thinking about your lovers actions. He gave you a clear mind so you could go to work and get a blessing.

And you called in on his blessing. He knew the job would stop your pain because it was all stress related. He knew your son would benefit from you being at home more. He knew the extra money would give you the strength to tell your cheating lover to hit the bricks because you don’t need him. Everything you have been praying for, Gone.

The devil stuck his head in and you followed. Not purposely. Not with intent to block. You followed for the temporary peace. And it felt good, temporarily. Then when your blessing was nice and blocked, the Devil let the flood gates open. He knew you were thanking God this morning and by this afternoon you will be questioning his love for you. And all it took was one good feeling.

Here’s another

You spend your entire life taking from people. You let your mother bail you out of problems, even though it creates more problems for her. You allow your friends to treat you to this, pay for you to go here, and pick you up when they are going there. You let girls fall in love with you, all the while your out looking for something new.

You watch as your brother gets another girl pregnant and you swear that won’t be you. You watch as your friends fuck one girl, then scoop up another and you applaud. You treat the one person in this world that would do anything for you, your Bun Bun, like she is nothing. Yet you walk around claiming you are a man.

Then one day you get called on it. Someone, like me, approaches and let’s you have it. They point out what makes a real man and you don’t see yourself in the description. You realize you are selfish. You realize you are a bastard. And for the first time, you really don’t like the person you have become.

You talk to God. Then like a strike from Heaven, your cell phone rings. It’s your Bun Bun. She’s pregnant.

All your recent realizations go out the door. Fuck being unselfish. “You are going to get an Abortion”.

But God was listening. See, God knows there are consequences for your past actions. Your selfishness has caused this woman to have 3 abortions over the past 3 years. No doctor will touch her. No lie will get her out of it. She’s having a baby. Your baby.

What do you do? You have to show her. She will not tie you down.

The Devil comes in and instantly pulls that selfish string. He doesn’t even have to set you up. You have been pulling that string for so long, you made the Devil’s work easy. But God doesn’t give up on you. Your Bun Bun sends you a picture of your child inside her belly.

Are you seriously going to try to block this blessing? You know you don’t like who you are. You prayed to God and he answered immediately. And even though the Devil is right there, so is God. And that in itself is a blessing.

So many of us say we believe in God. We will say it out loud but we won’t shout it to the mountain tops. I shout, GOD IS GOOD. But even I fall short. That’s why I’m glad we have a forgiving God. Even if you destroy a blessing, a new one isn’t that far away. If you realize it.

When the world seems like it’s falling down on you; don’t be scared. Don’t be mad. Smile.

Know that God is tearing everything down so he can build it back up. You’ve been having such a hard time because you are surrounded by hard times. People that want to tear you down. The devil trying to throw up road blocks. And you refusing to get out of your own way.

So that’s my little lesson today. God is listening. He knows what you need and he’ll make sure it’s sent your way. But you have to be there to receive it. You have to have an open mind and an open heart to realize he is actually sending you a blessing. Even if you can’t realize it the first go around.

It’s Time To Let Them Go: Even Though They Are Family

November 18th, 2008 | By

When you are trying to learn about yourself, you often look to the people around you. More often than not, this brings you to the members of your family. I’m not going to get into specifics but I got a few stories for you. These are people I know and the stories are real.

1st Story

There is grandmother who loves her family. She has spent her entire life working to make sure her family had more than she had. Her and her husband had 5 kids. They raised their family in a house with no running water. Understand this. No running water. No bathroom, they had to pee and poop in a bucket. No shower, they had to bathe in a basins. If you wanted drinking water, you had to go outside and pump it from a well.

The woman lost her husband and realized she had to bear the weight of her family. At the age of 64, she went back to work to take care of her grown children and their children. Then her children move out and leave their children with the grandmother.

The grandmother does what she’s always done, step up and take care of her family. Years pass and her home of 50 years is deteriorating due to lack of upkeeping. The now grown grandchildren have done nothing with their lives and still live in the house. They sell drugs, have parties, and demand the attention of the local police.

In one raid of the house, a pollice officer decided he was going to report the bad structure of the house over all. The county came and told the grandmother her house was to be condemned because it was unliveable. They were all instructed to move out within 90 days.

The grandmother moved in with her oldest daughter and all the grand kids found other places to live. One of the grandmother’s co-workers felt so bad about the situation, she wrote a letter to a foundation in the community explaining the sacrifices of the grandmother. This foundation decided to re-build the house for the her.

The grandmother was so excited. On move in day, she threw a big party and eveyone came to see her new house. It was beautiful. All new appliances, fresh paint, clean floors, and two bathrooms.

How long do you think this house stayed like that?

2nd story

There was a single mother of three raising her kids in a 3 bedroom house. Her older brother hadn’t really done anything with his life and was currrently occupying one of the bedrooms.

Let me introduce you a little to the brother. He was a Honor’s graduate that joined the army after High School. He purposely got kicked out because he wanted to keep an eye on his girlfriend at the time. When he got home, he and his girlfriend broke up.

He found another girlfriend that wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She got him enrolled in college and found them a place to live where he wouldn’t be near bad influences. He was a great artist and even got scholarships to pay for college.

When he got the check, he cashed it and bought a pack to sell. Eventually he dropped out of school because he was making a little money selling crack. Things didn’t turn out that well for him, so he found himself living back with his sister.

Their father never played a role in their lives. Both blame him but the sister has compassion. She understood that he had been sick for a long time and he really coundn’t have done much for them. So, when the father’s house burned down, the sister invited him to live with her.

Here comes the problem. The brother isn’t having it. He argues with the sister about the father’s presence. He says that anyone that doesn’t take care of their children, shouldn’t be taken care of.

Did I forget to mention, the brother had a kid by both women and doesn’t take care of either?

3rd Story

There is a woman that needs to belong. She was spoiled by her mother her entire life because her mother made so many bad decisions when it came to men. When she would pick a bad man, her child would get a treat. When she got a black eye, her daughter got a mustang. When she got a broken rib, her daughter got a trip for her and her friends to Florida. When she got robbed, her daughter got 50% of the proceeds from selling her house.

The mother decided to move away but the women didn’t want to go with her. She was excited about starting a new life for herself. She took the money and bought a house. Soon she came to realize she missed having a family around.

So, the first guy that payed her any attention, she grabbed hold of and refused to let him go. Even after he tried to sell her mustang. Even after he took her T.V., D.V.D. player, and emptied her checking account. She decided she would change him by having his child.

I don’t even have to tell you, this didn’t work. The woman soon found herself surrounded by his family and they all had their hand out. You can afford this house, you got money you can lend me. You drive a bad ass car, you can let me use it. You have an extra bedroom, why can’t I stay?

The women was so scarred of being alone, she let all these things come to pass. Soon, her car was crashed, she was now late on all her bills, and she had to get restraining orders to keep people from coming to her house whenever they wanted.

But she refused to let go of the man that brought all these problems into her life. Instead, she figures the first kid didn’t make him change but I’m sure the second one will.

Do you think anything changed for her?

The Point

Stop looking at the people around you. O.K. maybe I didn’t put that right. Stop looking at the people around you, if you are trying to figure out who you are.

See, I want to have the hard work ethic of the Grandmother. I want to have the compassion of the single mother. I want to have the family aura of the woman. But they all come at such a high cost. At least if taken at face value.

I’m not the nicest person. I try but I find it hard sometimes. I’ve had conversations with the subjects of all three stories and they are all so nice. They believe no matter what is happening now, one day it will all make sense.

It makes no sense to me. I don’t understand why you thought a new house would make your grandchildren show respect. I don’t understand why grandchildren would destroy something that meant so much to their grandmother. I don’t understand why you would take care of a grown man, when there is nothing physically wrong with him. I don’t understand why you take care of three kids, work a full time job, and still have to cut grass when there is a grown ass man living in your house. I don’t understand why you do great by yourself but are constantly looking for someone to compliment you on it. I don’t understand why you accept the compliment when it comes with an out reached hand.

So I’m done looking around. It’s time to let them go, even though they are family. Like I said before, I know how to take the lessons and leave the rest. None of these stories have a happy ending. The grandmother said she was done. She moved out of her new home. The single mother is now sharing a bedroom with her oldest daughter. The woman finally stood up and now has to deal with being hated for doing so.

They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that’s why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers. I can find a better place to expand my energy.

Waiting For Perfection To Pray

October 13th, 2008 | By

In my first post this morning, I prayed.  I prayed for God to continue to guide me.  And what do you know, I get a call questioning whether it’s hypocritical to pray when you are a sinner.  God works in mysterious ways.

First, he let’s you know he’s listening.  He let’s you know your prays are heard and for that I am eternally thankful.   Then, he sends you a message to let you know you are on the right path.  When strife or uncertainty come it’s wonderful to know you have someone on your side.

Now let me tell you what’s on my heart right now.  If you wait for perfection to pray, you will be waiting forever.  We are human and we sin.  No one is without it and no one is above it.  The difference comes in the acknowledgment.  Can you admit you are not perfect?

Criticism is often hurled my way that I think I’m better or above those around me.  I’ve never made such an assumption of myself.  I know I have short falls and I’m the first to admit to those.  But I also know that I am a work in progress, that might never be fully completed, but I continue on.  Because I’ve been without God’s guidance and I know what that gets you.

So instead of focusing on me.  Focus on you.  When you feel the world begin to crumble around you, take it to God and leave it there.  He will answer.  Don’t expect your problems to disappear, it doesn’t work that way.  But you can expect peace.  That feeling that comes and eases your breathing, relaxes tense muscles, and destroys the once present knots in your stomach.  I’m a witness.  God is Good, All The Time.

So when the turmoil starts.  You should start to pray.  Don’t worry if you are a sinner.  God knows you.  He knows your heart and if you come to him with sencerity, then he would know that too.  And no matter how bad you think you are, God has seen worse.  And he will not hold against you things in your past.  In fact it’s just the opposite.  He will wash your past away.  And will love you like a new born child.

Just give him the chance.  Close your eyes and open your heart to him.  He will fill the spaces that are currently occupied with doubt and darkness.  He will mend old wounds and give new purpose, if you let him.  So today, tonight, and tommorrow I will pray for you.  And I know God answers prayers.  So when you feel that tap on you heart, answer.  I’m sending my love with it and I hope you will accept.

This site isn’t supposed to be super religious.  But I can’t deny God’s presence.  When he tells me to write in his name, I will.  When he tells me that my place is lighting darkness, I charge my batteries.  When he blesses me, I have to give a blessing back.  So if you came here today because you heard I was a spitfire, maybe you’re meant to be one too.  Maybe my journey isn’t meant to be alone.  Maybe I’m supposed to light your life and bring you with me.  I’ll say it one more time.   God Is Good.

Science vs Faith

May 18th, 2008 | By

There are two main beliefs in the creation of the world.  Some believe the right gases mixed, we evolved, and this is what we became.  I believe God created the earth, and made us in his image.  I heard this story when I was young and it always stuck with me.


There was a woman.  She was burned really bad in a fire.  Her face bared the brunt of the scars.  She had a daughter that loved science, it was her passion.  Her mother worked hard to get her every advantage.

Her mother was so proud of her.  When she won an award for her brilliance, she was the first one there to see it.  She watched her daughter, strong and confident, take the stage and command attention.  She was so impressed.

Then came the speech.  Her mother sat there shocked, listening to her daughter credit science for the creation of man.  Before her speech was over, the mother got up and exited the building.

The daughter found her outside crying.  She wiped her tears and questioned their meaning.  The mother looked into her daughter’s eyes and wept.

Do you know how I got these scars?

The daughter had always wondered, but her mother had showed her so much love she hadn’t asked.  It just didn’t matter.

Well when you were a baby, our house caught on fire.  I had been working so hard, I didn’t wake up at the sound of the alarm.   Your cries finally woke me, but the flames were already in room with us.  I grabbed you, and I prayed.  God told me to move and I did.  I ran through the burning house with you in my arms and I didn’t stop til we were safe outside.  I never felt the flames on my face and body and not a single one touched you.

I thought your love of science would help the world, I never thought it would destroy your faith.

You should read my blog, Poetry: That feeling.   Then let me know what you think.