September 2nd, 2010 | By Sonnie Johnson
I’m BACK!!!!!!! I know, I know I’ve been away to long and you’re all wondering what I’ve been up to. In a nutshell, I was looking at my reflection in the mirror. I won’t lie to you, I’ve been going through personal turmoil the last 40 days and the mirror tells no tales. I’ve acknowledged my tears, smiles, and those awkward faces you make when you’re thinking really hard about something that hardly matters. Oh yeah, my reflection has been my friend for the last 40 days.
So, how fitting that this weekend’s Glenn Beck Restoring Honor Rally mentions the true need for reflection and correction in our lives. What a way to end my 40 days.
And this has to be said on my part. For the critics of Glenn Beck who question his religion, judge him on his inability to separate himself from his religion, or scoff at his gull of openly speaking about his religion, I will pray for you. Trust and believe that’s not what I really wanted to say but it will suffice for this article.
With that being said, what did I learn about myself in the last 40 days?
- I’ve learned to accept my own growth. There will always be people who remember me as I once was. But I have the Right to be Selfish and decide to see only what I am now. I find no joy in rehashing sins I’ve already turned over to God. I find no happiness in holding old grudges that God is already in the process of working out. It profits me none to turn away from God’s word and live by someone else’s memory of who I should be.
- I’ve learned I’ve alwasy been a problem creator, now I’m a problem solver. My rebellious teenage years caused me more problems than I realized. Not only did I act out against my parents, church, and school, I let it seep into my mental process. When a problem came along, mostly by my own creation, I could rationalize why it was everyone else’s fault. But I have the Right to be Selfish and immediately ask of myself, ‘What could you have done differently?’ I don’t care who was wrong or right, it only matters that I fix those things which I control.
- I’ve learned walking in God’s Will shall reveal false prophets. No one can tell me what God’s Will is. I speak to God and ,in his mysterious way, he speaks back to me. I question my language, tone, and subject selection. I question my colored hair, short skirts, and the stero-type that comes along with those fashion decisions. But, in the end, I have the Right to be Selfish and be exactly who God made me to be. He has had his hand in every other decision I’ve made, so if its not broke……..
- I’ve learned some arguments are not worth having. I’m the ultimate debater. Very rarely is there a conversation that I run away from. But I have the Right to be Selfish and decide where my time would be better spent. It would be easy to assume I’m talking about politics but that’s way off base. I’m talking about those everyday conversations that end up putting a crimp in your day. The time spent talking about what you’re going to do, while you’re actually accomplishing nothing. Time spent complaining about the things around you, while not lifting a finger to find a solution. Time wasted on those who can point out every flaw you have but have this uncanny ability to forget they are also flawed.
- I’ve learned you can’t help everyone and sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is Pray God comes to their heart. Always offer a hand when you see a person in need. Always make yourself available to those who need to testify or need to hear your testimony. Always humble yourself before trying to give advice, especially if its unsolicited advice. But never take on someone else’s salvation. I have the Right to be Selfish and accept that I am not God. I am not omnipotent and all powerful, I am but flesh and bones. While I can imagine what I want your life to look like, only you and God can make it a reality.
- Finally, I’ve learned not to get so wrapped up in your own reflection you forget the impression you leave on other people. God made you in his image and that makes you beautiful. Not because of the cosmetics you wear, the name-brands you sport, or the kicks you have on your feet and if that’s where you find your self-worth, those around you probably only see the superficial as well. I have the Right to be Selfish and decide I want to be remembered for my words and actions. I want to be worthy of the kind messages, well wishes, and constant encouragement I get from those around me and I can’t accomplish that staring at the mirror waiting for it to speak back to me.
I know all this Selfish talk can seem counter-productive but it’s the only solution we have. We must make the choice to be SELFISH in following God’s word. So it doesn’t matter what political party you vote for, they must be subservient to your true ideals and principles because you have left them no other option. You are so steadfast in what you believe and what you stand for, it doesn’t matter the color of a person’s skin if they step out the boundaries of what you find acceptable. You are so steeped in Truth that you can smell a lie a mile away and it forces other to be truthful in return.
The real truth is, these acts aren’t Selfish, self-serving, or easy. These are the hardest paths to salvation. You won’t get the life you’ve wished for, you’ll get the life God planned for you. You won’t see progress devoid of any striff or disappointment. You will relapse to old habits and find yourself on your knees asking what went wrong and praying for strength to make it through. You will start to feel your life is totally out of control and the hits just keep coming. But in the moments where you need to step out on faith, in the moments where you must speak up, in the moments when you’ve placed yourself so far out on a ledge you can’t see your way back, God will show up. And if you can reflect back and know with certainty that every move you made was by God’s Will, you will have no fear. You will have no doubt. And when they say you are trying to accomplish the impossible, you can say: “I Selfishly have the Right to say, All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. Amen”