In Process of Change

November 15th, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson

Dear Readers,

I’m guessing you know I’m a real opinionated person. I get on this blog everyday and write what ever comes to mind. I find it an useful release to my daily life. Well, things are getting more complicated by the day.

This blog has opened up a lot of opportunities for me. In the future I’ll make more of these public, like the publishing of my first novel, YES. But it comes at a high price.

When barriers are knocked down in front of you, you realize that some of those barriers were the people you surrounded yourself with. The people you thought would have your back no matter what are actually the people that don’t want to see you succeed.

The one’s that encouraged your efforts in the first place become the one’s that tell you to slow down. Or they tell you to change who you are. Or they ask you if you think you are better than them. This leads you to wonder if there is really a problem with you.

Or at least, it leads me down that path. I just realized something really important I want to share with you. Maybe it is you. I know that seems funny but there is reason behind my madness.

You are growing. You are changing. And it’s all right. I am growing and changing and that’s O.K. too. The problem is the people around us are not doing the same. I’m going to steal a great peice of wisdom I got from Specta. Ask yourself, “Have I known you for 5 years or did I know you 5 years ago.”

I’ve been struggling with this concept for about a week now. And it’s not any easy problem to solve because no matter what answer you get, it’s still been 5 years of your life invested in this person. Whether it’s a best friend, a lover, a business partner, or a pastor, that person had to have made an impact on your life during that time period. It’s hard to not hold that in account when you’re thinking about the changes you are going through.

But it has to be done. I’m changing. My writing is even suffering a little because of it. I’m so stuck in trying to figure out my personal, I get lost keeping up with the rest of what’s going on. I go back and try to change passages in my novel I thought were perfect a week ago. Topics I have for my blog get put off because I want to re-examine my positions with my new set of eyes.

And it’s beginning to take a toll on me. Rest assure, I’m not complaining. I’m just enlightening myself as well as anyone that likes what I normally write. Things are changing and my blog will reflect that. The person I am meant to become will reflect that.

So please bear with me through this transition. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as I think but good things rarely come without a shit load of the bad. So I’m digging in and bracing myself. It should be fun to see where I come out in the end.

Thanks for all the support and hang on. I think this is going to be one hell of a ride.

Sonskystar