February 26th, 2009 | By Sonnie Johnson
Quick story before I get to the point.
I had this friend and she liked when her boyfriend beat her. I’m not joking or making light of the situation. On more than one occasion I got into it with her significant other. I finally had to realize, that was her. It never stopped me from yelling at him though.
If she was stupid enough to let you do it, Fine. But if you aren’t Man enough to stop, then you have a serious problem. You will never convince a woman in that kind of love to leave, if she doesn’t already want to.
But you can make a dude mad enough to test you and see if he gets the same results. It works majority of the time and the dude gets to see what it’s like on the other side of the beat down. Beyond that, the situation is out of your control.
Blah! Having said that, when the news broke of Chris Brown’s alleged abuse of Rhianna, every where I looked was judgement and ridicule. Before the pictures of Rhianna were released, it was fun and games to talk about the situation. Talk show host laughing, fans criticizing, nothing but judgement.
When the pictures of Rhianna’s swollen face appear, then it’s outrage. More judgement and criticism.
We all live in glass houses. We should not be throwing stones. Not just because Jesus said, “Judge not lest ye be judged”, let’s try you miss the whole point on the conversation.
In our culture on Sex and Money, these are good conversations to have. I’m sorry it had to come at the expense of two of Hip-Hop’s up-and-coming stars, but they caused the situation. All we can do is learn from it.
A Few Lessons You Might Want To Take
We all wish for money and fame. Do we really understand the cost? Now, we are free to make mistakes with only the scrutiny of those around us. How well would you hold up if the whole world was watching?
Our Little Girls. Our precious females coming up thinking all they have to do is freak the right Musician, sports stars, or any other man with money and they will be set. Once you give control to these men, especially when you don’t have the power to match theirs: KUDOS BEYONCE, they control every thing. Why not make your own money, first.
Instead of judgement, we should all be encouraging Brown to get help. The sympathy will pour for Rhianna, I have no problem with that. But there are so many men to afraid to grow up and learn a better way to deal with women. We have a reality show about everything else, why not how to break the cycle of domestic violence that focuses on the Men. (Men being a relative term)
There is a lesson missing. Well, not so much missing as hidden by the public’s watchful eye. This will definitely cost Chris Brown. I will find it hard for him to write songs to women when they know he likes to hit females. But the majority of cowards that find comfort in beating their significant others, don’t have anything to lose. That’s why they do it.
This teaches them nothing. I’m sure they are cheering, “that’s how you handle a bitch”. I know because I’ve been around them. I’ve challenged them. I’m talking around the Thanksgiving Day Turkey.
We throw so much criticism towards Chris Brown and not the act itself. It’s O.K. to hit a female, we just didn’t expect it from Chris Brown.
I just made a promise for Lent and I’m not going to break it so soon. I personally know 6 men that beat every woman they get. I also know wonderful Men that have stepped in and offered beat downs to those same men. I have been hit by two men, one of them my brother, and both times I gave as good as I got.
And both times I pointed out the cowardice. My brother apologized and promised to never put his hands on me again, but it doesn’t stop him from putting his hands on his current girlfriend. The irony, I had to beg my apologetic brother to stop hitting the second dude that put his hands on me.
Yet, I still call him a coward every time I see the bruised face of another woman. I tell my daughter, in front of him, about the kind of man he is. She challenges him to fight every time she sees him. In addition to my annoying voice, he gets it from the face and actions of his neice. And that’s all I can do.
We need that on a massive scale. We can’t get it from Movies, songs, or any other pop culture. But we can get it from the people behind the culture. Stars are regular people, with regular problems. Learn from their mistakes.
Instead of hurling judgement, use this rectify a serious problem. While we continue to work on women and their value system, we can not allow the opportunity to pass to call out the men who see no problem in Brown’s action. The one’s that thought it was so funny before the pictures and especially the one’s who thought it was even funnier when the pictures came out.
Where is their judgement?