Giving Even When You Don’t Have

December 9th, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson

O.K. So after I left the Grocery Store, I took my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese. While she was running around playing, I met this woman. She was real nice. She catered to her kids more than I liked but to each it’s own.

I share alot of personal info on this blog but in person, I’m not that forth coming. I’m a pretty guarded person. Anyways, the lady started talking about how her sister had left her two kids with her. She hadn’t seen or heard from her sister in months. She didn’t know how she was going to make it, when she could barely take care of her two kids.

I shared my story with this woman. My mother was an addict and my father was still running the streets. I was given to someone else to raise. My mother had two kids of her own but treated me like I belonged. I can remember buying shoes out of the grocery store, eating government cheese, and having to share a bed with my younger sister. But we made it.

I told the woman, you recieve when you give. She had a faint smile on her face. I could tell she was finding it hard to believe what I was saying.

My daughter came to me and asked if she could have some of her birthday money. She’s been saving up to buy something special. I asked her why and she said the kids didn’t have tokens to play the games with her. I said O.K. and got each of them tokens. The mother said thank you with her head down. I wanted to make this woman feel better, I just didn’t know how.

My dude was ordering Pizza. I hate pizza from C.E.C. But I love my dude. While I was talking to the woman, my dude was watching the kids. They were complaining they were hungry. My dude went and ordered two pizza’s for the kids. The woman actually started to cry.

I took her hand and lead her into the bathroom. I asked her if she prayed. She told me no. I asked if it would be O.K. if I prayed for her. She said yes. I can’t remember the exact prayer but it went something like this.

Dear God

I’m glad you are on our side. We are not perfect, far from it, but you love us anyway. Thank You Lord. Please continue to give us strength because through you all things are possible. We walk in darkness knowing you will provide light. We push forward when our legs feel to weak to move because we know you didn’t bring us this far to let us down now. We lessen the weight on our heart bringing our prayers to you because we know you listen. And we know you won’t take us through more than we can bear, so lord we put our faith in you.

Please give us strength to get through tomorrow, for that’s all we can ask. Keep your hands on us so your will can be done. All these things we ask in your name oh lord. Amen.

The women kept her eyes closed after I finished. I assume she had private words to share with God.

When we went back to the table, all the kids were eating, laughing, playing, and have a great time. The woman smiled and joined her kids at the table. I sat at the adjacent table with my dude. He told me he had spent all our “fun” money for the week. I told him it was worth it.

I’m so blessed. My daughter understands it’s better to give than to recieve. My dude understands “fun” for us can be replaced with a blessing for someone else. I prayed with a woman I barely knew that was going through what I’m sure my mother went through once or twice.

So today, go out and find someone that needs a blessing. Even if you need one yourself, don’t worry about that. Go out and try to make someone else smile. Give someone else a pat on the back and say “I’m praying for you” or “Come and pray with me.” For there is power in prayer.

Did You Forget Pearl Harbor? Protectionism is Alive And Well in U.S.

December 8th, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson

Before all this economic mess, I was satisfied with President Bush. No President is perfect but we haven’t been attacked since 9/11. I live in Northern Virginia. Too close to Washington D.C. not to care that the terrorist haven’t struck again………….

The Day That Will Live in Infamy

You’ve probably heard me say this before, War is not the answer, it’s the solution. It’s a nice thought that all people can live together in Peace and Harmony but history shows us the impossibility of such a dream. There will always be forces that would rather fight than give concessions to it’s people or the people of the world community.

The belief that sitting out a fight will bring it to close faster is ridiculous. Just ask the men and women stationed at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

Imagine waking up knowing your country is at peace. You get up, get your children ready for school, and yourself ready for work. It’s just another ordinary day, until you hear a report that bombers are flying over a U.S. Military base. Until you hear they have killed thousands of Americans in a strike we never saw coming. (Conspiracy theorist be damned. I got one coming for you though.) Until we are thrust into a War we thought had nothing to do with us.

Just imagine Pearl Harbor. Imagine that taking place in New York. Oh wait, you don’t have to, just remember Sept. 11. Imagine that taking place in Washington D.C. Oh, 9/11 again. O.K., imagine it happening in the middle of some country town. Damn, 9/11 again.

Are you getting the point?

Those who don’t know History are destined to repeat it.

Let’s get to know some of our history. The Japanese wanted to make sure America wouldn’t interfere in it’s War in the South Pacific. Japan wanted more natural resources and war was the way to get them. The United States placed many sanctions on the Japanese. Yet, talking did not cause the Japanese to stop.

And we had the power to sway. The Japanese were getting most of their supplies from the U.S. We were sending them planes and machinery up until 1940. The U.S. signed the Export Control Act, denying Japan any more assistance in building their arsenal.

We had another big card we didn’t play. We controlled the oil going into Japan. And we didn’t stop sending it. The U.S. thought it would be perceived as an act of War. When we did finally stop sending oil to Japan in the summer of 1941, it wasn’t because we were punishing them for their atrocities is the South Pacific. It had more to do with America trying to conserve it’s own oil supply.

That doesn’t matter though. Japan had a plan and we were a stepping stone in that plan. Japan gave us more credit than we deserved. They thought if they were to attack the the Philippines, America would come to the rescue. Japan thought we had the backbone and the will to fight. But Roosevelt didn’t. He was content in allowing the Japanese to wage war.

On December 7, 1941 America was attacked by the Japanese. We lost over 2,400 people and more than 1,200 were injured. We lost ships and planes, but we gained resolve. We strengthened our backbones and a sleeping giant was awakened.

And we still believe in Protectionism

We are one country out of hundreds. Yes, I believe we are the biggest and the best, but we still are one country. Our boarders are water and two unmilitarized countries. So yes, we can believe that we can’t be touched. But will our belief cause our ultimate downfall?

We are locked in this America were all we think about is what’s happening to us. Prime example, this economic crisis. Let’s take the car industry.

Americans wanted S.U.V.’s. Come on and take your place at the blame table. We played a part in this mess. We watched video’s with stars pulling up in huge Hummer’s and we wanted one. (If you are one of the assholes that rides around in your hummer by yourself, you sit at the head of the table.) If we didn’t do anything else, say save money or invest wisely, we were going to ball.

Now that the crisis is in full effect, it’s the governments fault. They should not allow any other country to sell cars in the U.S. That’s protectionism. Thinking we can exist by ourselves. We forget that other countries build manufacturing plants in our boarders that supply thousands of Jobs. But more that, think about the decision you’ve made.

Did you buy American when you had the chance? I’ll admit, I bought my current car before I cared about any of this. I only cared if the car could get me from point A to point B. It didn’t matter if Americans would lose their jobs if I didn’t buy a Ford. GM’s bottom line wasn’t a concern. The thought of an entire industry failing never crossed my mind. Did it cross yours?

Now, we want to protect. Now, we want to bail out. Now, we want to place blame elsewhere. We want to blame and punish Toyota for diversifying their cars. It can’t be the American companies messed up and made unwise decisions.

We will die trying to protect our own. In some cases, that’s a good thing. But when it comes to the world economy, we can not be content operating within our own boarders. There is at least one car in each American household. In China, about 1 in 7 households have a car. Same in India. If we are going to compete globally, we have to have products in those markets.

If we start telling other countries they can sell in the U.S., they won’t let us sell in their countries. And we will lose.

Just as we lost so many men and women in Pearl Harbor because we thought all we had to do was protect our homeland and we would be all right. Our strength comes with our allies and business partners. Punish them and we only end up punishing ourselves.

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To The Pearl Harbor Victims and Survivors

Thank You. I always try to come up with something to say but it always comes back to those simple three words. A uniform doesn’t make a solider. It takes a man or women with the mind to fight and protect to build a strong military.

You are one of those people that gave me the freedom to write my thoughts freely. Thank You. I know with out your sacrifice, my life would not be in my own hands. So once again, all I can say is Thank You.

I Say Merry Christmas

December 4th, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson

I will admit I watch Bill O’reily regularly. I’ve noticed since taking the lead over all the network news broadcasts, O’riely is extra “for the people.” His constant shouts of looking out for the people are making me question his sincerity. If your going to do it fine, but don’t keep reminding us. Damn.

That aside. I SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Since I was a child and we had to wake my mother before touching anything so we could first thank God, I’ve said Merry Christmas. Since my mother gave each of us some money to buy something special for brothers and sisters, I’ve said Merry Christmas. Since I had a role in every Christmas play at my church, I’ve said Merry Christmas.

And yes, I will thank Santa for his contributions to Christmas, but he is not the Reason for the Season.

I used to hate when I had to wait to open presents. We would rush and my mother would take longer because we weren’t getting the message. We cared more about Santa than we cared about the Birth of our Savior.

Celebrating Christmas with my daughter, with my mother looking down, I realize even more why it’s important to remember why we celebrate. And I have a four year old. All she can think about is the horse that does this, the game that does that, and the doll with wings. It has become a balancing act for me.

I remember the joy I had waiting for Santa but I also remember the three wise men, the manger, and a little bitty baby. I remember the joy of opening a gift but I also remember being surrounded by my family and friends. But I love it because I Love Christmas.

Now, in our politically correct society, it’s wrong to say Merry Christmas. Two years ago, on black Friday, I went to a Target in Richmond Virginia and the greeter told me Happy Holidays. I paused for a moment and responded Happy Holidays. Then as I walked through the store buying Christmas gifts, it hit me. I like the sound of Merry Christmas.

When I left the house to go CHRISTMAS shopping, I was thinking about my daughter being excited about Santa and being surrounded by my family thanking God. Happy Holidays took those thoughts out of my head. I got tighter with my money. Holiday’s come and go, but Christmas, Christmas is different.

I had a friend in High School. Her mother was a Christian and her father was a Jehovah’s Witness. Her mother passed and she was raised by her father. She was not allowed to have birthday parties nor could she come to my birthday party. But for two days out of every year, her father would realize Christmas is different.

On Christmas Eve, he would put up a Christmas Tree. He even invited us to help decorate. The tree would stay up all of Christmas day. Then, pouf, it was gone. But for two days, Christmas important to even a Jehovah’s witness.

So what’s the problem with those that have no religion. If I weren’t to bluntly state my opinion, I would recieve well deserved Hate Mail, so I’ll pass. Instead, I will question the need to take Christmas from the rest of us. If you don’t have fond memories of Christmas past, what gives you the right to impede upon mine.

Now, with that question, I give more respect than is actually garnered. It doesn’t matter what anyone does, they can not impede upon my Christmas. As long as I can Pray to God, I’ll always have Christmas. I fight because my daughter hasn’t built that steadfastness yet. I’m not saying outside forces will have an actual affect on my daughter’s belief but I would appreciate not having the extra fight.

Like the people in Washington State, who put up a sign saying there is No God, No Angels, No Devil; There is only our natural world. Religion is but a myth and superstition that hardens hearts and inslaves minds. Did I forget to mention it was right next to a nativity scene?

I’m not one of those super sensitive people. I raise my daughter and she will know Jesus is why we celebrate Christmas. But I am cautious of turning my head and looking away. To say a little sign doesn’t make an impact would make me irresponsible. It would make me pigheaded and blind to the impact of a Society that doesn’t mind the voice of the few outweighing the call of the many.

I wonder if anyone from the Atheist group puts up a Christmas Tree. i don’t care if they call it by a different name; you can put make up on a pig. Do they invite their families and friends over to share the evening? Do they roast marshmallows or watch Frosty or Rudolph with their kids? If so, then they should shut up and celebrate the winter solace surrounded in love.

Cause that’s what I’m going to do. And when I approach someone and say Merry Christmas and they reply Happy Hanukkah, I’ll understand they understand. And when I approach someone and Merry Christmas and they reply Happy Kwanzaa, I’ll understand they understand. And while we’re spreading well wishes to those who don’t believe the same as us, there will be those who have no reason to spread joy. They only have hate and intolerance.

To those I’ll say, I’m praying for you.

Merry Christmas to All.

Stop Fighting A Blessing

December 2nd, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson

I’m not finished with all my lessons learned over Thanksgiving. I have written about blocking a blessing before but it’s time for a refresher.

Have you ever woke up and felt that it was going to be a great day? The aches and pains you had the night before have disappeared. Your child walks in and apologizes for the way they acted the day before. Your lover leaves a flower on the bed beside you. And you just know something good is going to happen today.

You feel so good, you decide to call out from work today. You plan on spending the entire day just feeling good.

Then halfway through your day, stuff starts falling apart. You get slammed with the headache from hell. The teacher calls and you have to go and pick your child up from school because he was fighting. While on your way, you spot your lover with another woman. And you are like, damn, I thought this was going to be a great day.

The next day it gets worse. You go back to work and find out the woman that sits next to you got a promotion the day you called out. That was your promotion. You have been praying for it. More money, less hours. Then the woman rubs it in.

“Girl, they were going to give the promotion to you but you called out. I’m glad you didn’t come to work yesterday.”

The first thing you do is go to God. You ask why is he punishing you.

If God could answer, I bet he would say, You Blocked Your Blessing.

See, you were praying for strength and for God to guide you. And he tried. He made sure you body wasn’t in pain so you could accept your promotion. He made sure you weren’t worrying about whether your son was mad or not. He made sure you weren’t thinking about your lovers actions. He gave you a clear mind so you could go to work and get a blessing.

And you called in on his blessing. He knew the job would stop your pain because it was all stress related. He knew your son would benefit from you being at home more. He knew the extra money would give you the strength to tell your cheating lover to hit the bricks because you don’t need him. Everything you have been praying for, Gone.

The devil stuck his head in and you followed. Not purposely. Not with intent to block. You followed for the temporary peace. And it felt good, temporarily. Then when your blessing was nice and blocked, the Devil let the flood gates open. He knew you were thanking God this morning and by this afternoon you will be questioning his love for you. And all it took was one good feeling.

Here’s another

You spend your entire life taking from people. You let your mother bail you out of problems, even though it creates more problems for her. You allow your friends to treat you to this, pay for you to go here, and pick you up when they are going there. You let girls fall in love with you, all the while your out looking for something new.

You watch as your brother gets another girl pregnant and you swear that won’t be you. You watch as your friends fuck one girl, then scoop up another and you applaud. You treat the one person in this world that would do anything for you, your Bun Bun, like she is nothing. Yet you walk around claiming you are a man.

Then one day you get called on it. Someone, like me, approaches and let’s you have it. They point out what makes a real man and you don’t see yourself in the description. You realize you are selfish. You realize you are a bastard. And for the first time, you really don’t like the person you have become.

You talk to God. Then like a strike from Heaven, your cell phone rings. It’s your Bun Bun. She’s pregnant.

All your recent realizations go out the door. Fuck being unselfish. “You are going to get an Abortion”.

But God was listening. See, God knows there are consequences for your past actions. Your selfishness has caused this woman to have 3 abortions over the past 3 years. No doctor will touch her. No lie will get her out of it. She’s having a baby. Your baby.

What do you do? You have to show her. She will not tie you down.

The Devil comes in and instantly pulls that selfish string. He doesn’t even have to set you up. You have been pulling that string for so long, you made the Devil’s work easy. But God doesn’t give up on you. Your Bun Bun sends you a picture of your child inside her belly.

Are you seriously going to try to block this blessing? You know you don’t like who you are. You prayed to God and he answered immediately. And even though the Devil is right there, so is God. And that in itself is a blessing.

So many of us say we believe in God. We will say it out loud but we won’t shout it to the mountain tops. I shout, GOD IS GOOD. But even I fall short. That’s why I’m glad we have a forgiving God. Even if you destroy a blessing, a new one isn’t that far away. If you realize it.

When the world seems like it’s falling down on you; don’t be scared. Don’t be mad. Smile.

Know that God is tearing everything down so he can build it back up. You’ve been having such a hard time because you are surrounded by hard times. People that want to tear you down. The devil trying to throw up road blocks. And you refusing to get out of your own way.

So that’s my little lesson today. God is listening. He knows what you need and he’ll make sure it’s sent your way. But you have to be there to receive it. You have to have an open mind and an open heart to realize he is actually sending you a blessing. Even if you can’t realize it the first go around.

I’m Back But Is That A Good Thing?

December 1st, 2008 | By Sonnie Johnson

I missed you guys. I missed writing. And I’m going to share something with you today. This is hard for me, so bear with me. I think I’m going to have to break this up in to a couple of sections because I had one hell of an interesting week.

You can tell by the title of this post, I was not over joyed by my Thanksgiving. I had to deal with bad news, which I will share you because your family maybe dealing with some of the same things and we can help each other get through.

Life is hard. I know I throw alot of criticism out but best believe I know that each person has went through something that got them to where they are. The lost or absence of a parent. Abuse or just plain neglect. A sharp and unrelenting dose of reality that crushed a person’s confidence in what they thought they knew. Or it could be as simple as falling in love and having it not work out. All events that shape and create individual personalities.

Mistakes are easy. I preach personal responsibility and that still holds. But there are times when you have so much of the world on your shoulders and so much of other people’s bull laying at your feet, it’s impossible to move. You have to stand there and take the pressure, bearing it without losing your mind. And sometimes the easy way out lifts that burden, for just a while.

And in that moment, you can see things clearly. Including the extra damage you caused by taking the easy way out. But you also catch up on all the emotions you have been trying to hide. You weren’t expecting this. All the backed up pain, all the unresolved lies; I guess you could say, all those skeletons you keep buried in your closet.

And this is where we mess up. One of three things can happen.

We look for the easiest way to push all that mess back into the closet. We drink, smoke, gamble, party or sleep, anything that will make the mind forget. We make the choice to postpone the inevitable. We don’t think of it that way at the time. We make excuses, like “shit this is Thanksgiving, I’m not dealing with that shit”. And off we go on our mission to hide from the rest of the world.

Or we look to place blame elsewhere. We cuss out grandma for letting mom get pregnant in the first place. “I wouldn’t be alive if you watched your daughter closer.” We blame dad for not being there, even though we know how easy it is to get caught up in our lives and forget about those that care for us. We blame people we’ve never met for acts we never experienced. Then after all that redistribution of blame, we wonder why everyone is looking at us like a lost cause.

Or we cry. We let tears rush down our faces burning traces of regret and disappointment in ourselves. We know we were trying to do the right thing but some how it got all mixed up. We know we have to make changes but before that we have to let it out. We have to let out all the mistakes we’ve made and forgive ourselves for them. And only then can we move forward, with clean closets.

Now all of that is well and good but what does it do for me? All I did was try to make it. Maybe I didn’t do everything right but I tried. Where is my scenario?

You are still in the blame scenario. It maybe indirect blame but it is blame non the less. You are not blaming anyone for the creation of your problems but you like to place blame for the lack of change since copping to them. And I’m willing to bet there are still skeletons hidden in your closet.

I’m writing this to make a point. Of all the lessons I’ve learned over this Thanksgiving season, this one is the most potent. At the end of the day, all we have is our mind, our sanity. At the end of the day, all we have is what we’ve done.

You can blame mom and dad for the way they raised you but you can’t blame them for your lack of sanity. And by sanity, I mean that peaceful place that allows you to breath, think, relate, and re-act. Most of us just re-act. We raise our voices and our tempers and lash out. It doesn’t matter where we are or who we’re talking too, we just let it out.

I’ve developed a name for this, Closetitist. Closetitist occurs when a person has to many unresolved issues. When faced with something new, they go into overload. It becomes hard to differentiate and separate the cause of a single problem. All the mess becomes jumbled and they momentarily lose their sanity. This is truly a self inflicted sickness.

There are no drugs, pills or street brand, that will fix it. The cure does not require you to have insurance. Nor do you have to schedule an appointment to lay on some doctor’s couch. All it takes is one step. One step out on faith.

Faith that there is no situation you can’t come out of. Now, if you have digged a ditch to far down to climb out of, this still applies. Maybe you won’t get completely out of the ditch but maybe you can find some light in the darkness.

The question becomes do you want the cure. Is your faith strong enough to bear the weight of the problems you have created? Some of us hold on to mistakes God has already forgiven us for. We are so afraid of everyone else seeing us weak, we hide. We use a nice car or fly outfit to hide. And sometimes it works.

You get the compliments and the looks from people who think they want to be like you but you know better. They may have a shitty car or holes in their shoes but they smile wider that you could imagine your lips stretching. It crushes you to think you would rather be like them. Down on their luck but happy. Scrapping by but at peace. No bling but a spirit that glows.

How did you handle it? I’m betting every single person that reads this had a breakdown this week. Which person were you?

I cried. A lot. I even lost my sanity for a moment. But I’m happy about it. See, the world didn’t stop spinning because I decided I wanted something different. The earth didn’t blow up because I decided to let my family know I wasn’t happy. I didn’t cease to exist because I made a mistake and finally admitted to it.

Instead, my family gave me strength. I got wisdom from those who created a path I’m about to walk. I found a place of comfort amongst those that love me the most. And that caused me to cry harder because all this time my closet could have been cleaned. My sanity could have been restored. I was just to prideful to step out on faith.

Maybe later I’ll give you the whole story. Maybe I’ll wait until it becomes fully resolved. But I will give you this. I’m back and it’s a Great Thing.