A Three Pronged Approach to a New Life, Not Just a New Year

January 9th, 2009 | By Sonnie Johnson

We are already 9 days into the New Year and I have yet to offer some sound advice on how to make it through 2009. My platform for this release failed to come to fruition, so my blog will have to do.

My words are not absolute. Just look at the top of my page and you’ll understand I’m fully aware that the learning curve never ends. Tomorrow might bring new advice that contradicts what’s said here and that’s a great thing. It means that growth is continuous.

So let’s jump in head first.

First,

It’s God

If you know anything about my blog, you know I have a strong belief in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the first necessity in my approach.

• Remember and understand the Lords Prayer

Everyone knows the Lord’s Prayer. If you don’t, let me refresh your memory.

Our Father, which art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those that trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, the Power and Glory

Forever and ever, Amen

There are two very important parts of this prayer that will help you make it through the New Year.

Thine Will Be Done

Change the way you pray. So many times, we ask for the specifics. Lord, help me get out of debt. Lord, help me lose this weight. These are called selfish prayers. God didn’t get you into debt. God didn’t make you gain all the weight. Nor is it God’s purpose to correct these issues for you.

So, instead pray for God’s will to be done. The Lord wants you to be happy, healthy and financially sound. But that won’t happen because your debt has been wiped clean. Especially if you continue with the same destructive habits. Pray for strength to make it through the next day and God will give you that strength and while you are allowing him to work things out in your life at his pace, you will have time to realize you play a role in making this thing happen. And his will brings peace.

Second Forgive our Trespasses, As we forgive those that Trespass against us

We all must learn to forgive

I’ve always believed the hardest person to forgive is ones self. But we have to get pass it. We allow ourselves to constantly remember all the mistakes we’ve made, while forgetting to congratulate ourselves for noticing we have faults. Because once we realize we are not perfect we can begin fixing our problems.

My main request in this New Year, as this applies, Don’t wait to fix your problems before going to the Lord. You have the scenario all backwards. Once you take your sin to him, he forgives. So take it to him and leave it there. Take your addiction, indifference, or constant failure and let him carry it while you continue to work on forgiving other people.

Don’t hold on so tightly to what you have done, that you forget life is still moving forward. You have time to make a change, as long as you take advantage of it.

So, now that you have God in your life, what’s next?

Second

It’s You

Self responsibility is also a major piece to this giant puzzle called life. But today I’m talking about another aspect of you.

• Make sure to take care of your star player

Who can you help if you don’t take care of yourself? This is a major issue I have to tackle. Learning to make sure I’m happy before trying to give that happiness to someone else.

The best way to explain this is the relationship between a parent and a child. You fix dinner for two, you and your child. Well, your child decides they want your portion of meat. And you being the mother, don’t want to deny your child sustenance, so you oblige.

You and your child both lose in this situation. You don’t get the protein you need. Your child doesn’t get the vitamins they need from eating their vegetables because they filled up on your meat. Now, they have the energy to fun around for hours and you don’t have the strength to keep up.

So, in 2009, make sure you are taking care of yourself. You can’t help your child if you don’t first help yourself. You can’t help anyone if you don’t first help yourself.

This also means find things to laugh at. In our politically correct world, humor is beginning to fade. First you have to take into consideration all the people you might offend by laughing. Then you have to consider what will be thought of you once you laugh. Bump that. Laugh hard and often. Especially at the haters.

When you feel like you can’t take another step, look around at those who wish they were stepping in your shoes. Realize no matter how bad you have it, someone else has it worse. This may provide a little comfort but don’t revel in it. Use it as motivation to continue to do you. Because if you are praying for the Lord’s will to be done, you’re not finished yet.

And one more quick thing, don’t be afraid to learn who you are. Figure out your moral and value system and stick to it. Find out what you are good at and become great at it. Figure out what’s lacking in your life and begin to fill the holes with productivity. Learn to love yourself, flaws and all.

Third

It’s the People Around You

No one can make it in this world alone. It’s important that we build a strong support system to help us through.

• Make sure you know the people around you

O.K. If you have negative people around you, negative shit will come to you. Everybody knows that. So let’s not talk about what we already know, let’s take it from a different perspective. How do you know which friends to keep and which ones’ to get rid of?

The basics, if you are an alcoholic, don’t hang around drinkers. If you are a drug addict, don’t hang around users. What about if you are a shopaholic? What about if you are a eataholic? Shouldn’t the same rules apply?

If you have a friend who answers a bad day by inviting you on a shopping trip, this could be just as toxic as injecting heroin. If you have a friend that answers a bad day by going to an all you can eat buffet, this could be just as toxic a four day drinking binge. And these friends should be treated as such.

We pacify people way to much in this day and age. We judge a homeless person with a bottle on the corner, but not the average business man that needs a drink after a long shift. Who really had the worse day and needs the drink more?

In the same instance, we forget to place adequate blame at the footsteps of those who help us develop bad habits. We blame Bush for our personal economy, instead of the friend who talked us into buying a dress we didn’t need with money we didn’t have. Or we blame McDonalds’ for the calorie count instead of the friend who had to stop to get a snack before going home to make dinner.

These people have a real effect on our lives and we should realize it before it’s to late. You are praying for the Lord’s will to be done and you are working on loving yourself, do you really have the time to let others habits affect you? Even those that seem trivial. Does it matter if you spent money on clothes or drugs, if in the end all the money is gone? Does it matter if your health is fading because you drank to much or you ate to much, if in the end your health is gone? I don’t think so.

Just one more thing to add to this. Once you make the choice of which friends to eliminate, make sure you get to know the friends you replace them with.

We are always told if you want success, surround yourself with successful people. I have no beef with this assessment but I do have words of forewarnment. I think I just made up a word. Don’t allow yourself to be judged by someone else’s ego.

Most people who figured these things out before us, tend to look down upon us. They have the opinion that they figured it out and now you have to catch up. This isn’t always true. The lessons they apply to their lives might not work well in yours.

This is especially true with the Alpha Males. Once you question them, they have the need to show the world they got it together and it usually comes at the expense of the new guy. They pat you on your head like a good dog, then set off to prove you can’t possible do it like them.

And once they go into defensive mode, you are left feeling like you failed. You didn’t. A new successful friend can be as insecure as an old unsuccessful friend. The whole point of surrounding yourself with these people is to figure out how to do the best you and not how to become the next them.

So, expect to lose friends when trying to come up. Some people will claim they want nothing but the best for you, until it comes to their opinion being questioned. Then it becomes, I’ll show you. Don’t fall into the trap. Smile and move on. If they are a true friend, they will realize they don’t walk on water. If they are not, better to find out sooner rather than later.

So there you go. My tips for making it through the New Year. God, You, and then the People Around You. Make sure you keep it in that order. And I wish you nothing but the best in the year to come. Whether you agree with me or not, all voices should be heard. So, I’ll keep talking and listening and who knows where the future might take us.

God Bless