To Blend In or To Stand Out: Does My Choice Make Me?

February 9th, 2009 | By Sonnie Johnson

The same old fight. It’s like I’m the light-skinned well bred negro surrounded by all the thugs and hustlers and I have to prove I’m some how worthy. I’m not going to do it. Instead, I’ll bring the fight to you. That’s what I’m good at.

The more I write on the blog, the more I learn. A lot of people won’t leave a comment but will fill my e-mail with some silly mess. Which perplexes me because you can comment anonymously. So, I’m beginning to think I’m changing some minds or at least planting seeds of doubt about the Democratic Party. If you don’t want to be anonymous on my blog then why send your personal e-mail address to me via message.

You want me to reply to you. O.K. I got you. Just tell a sister you might not agree right now, but you’re willing to listen if I can just convince you. And I shall oblige.

Classic High School Story. The kid who wants to do his own thing is bullied by the kids who want him to know his role. I’ve said this a million times. I know my role. You have no jurisdiction telling me what makes me who I am. Period. That’s all, point blank.

My role is to stand out. Not because I choose to, but because that’s what it is. I believe what I believe and for that I catch flack. I got tough skin, I’ll be O.K.

But there comes a time when the same old arguments need to be laid to rest. This is something that’s been eating on my conscience for a while.

1. I’m damned if I do, Damned if I don’t

In trying to find my own voice, I’ve had to do a mental check on who I am. See, I don’t need your assistance dissecting my own cerebral, I do it voluntarily. You should try it. (I’m sorry, I’m in one of my moods.)

I realized, I didn’t fully appreciate how much I learned from being poor and black in America. I lived in a house with no bathroom or running water; being broke could never break my spirit. As long as I got Tupac, Jay-z, Mary J., Rick James, Earth, Wind and Fire; should I continue? It’s O.K. Sprinkle in a couple people that love me and a bank account the reads zero doesn’t matter. My mom made it and I will too.

But that’s not enough. I also want to be educated. Not by the ignorant masses that follow self-interest serving black faces, but by the actions of those who were given nothing and achieved something.

So, I follow Nannie Helen Burroughs 12 rules but speak like an uneducated hip hopper. What color does that make me? I get hit with this from both sides. The older people in my life agree with principles of which I speak. They just wish I would change the phrasing of certain things, you know make it sound more educated. Then my peers hit me with, your a self hater because you think we need to fit in.

I’m laughing at both. Does it matter how I say it, if I’m passionate about it in my heart? Does it even matter to you that Nannie Burroughs was black? Or did I just choose to be a thorn in both their sides because I don’t fit in?

I think the latter. I don’t care if you think I’m ghetto. Dispute me on the facts. The natural me will come out and she isn’t proper and petite and she doesn’t like being handled or put in her place. When, not if, my southern drawl and sometimes improper language comes shining through, that’s me. So complain from both sides, I love being the center of attention.

2. Who Allows You To Fit In

In the full swing of another Awards Season, I thought I would point this out. Am I the only one who doesn’t watch the Movie Awards because they never nominate black movies I think were excellent? I know I’m not the only one.

So, let’s think about this. We all know Hollywood is run by the Left, the Democrats. They are the party of black people right? Why are we still complaining about no black movies getting attention. I mean in the natural progression of things, shouldn’t we have started to garner more awards and accolades?

Gay marriage is the current topic of discussion and so goes their focus. Does this negate great black stories from having a role? Or did they give us one for Hallie and one for Denzel and think we should be satisfied for now?

And this is where you want to fit in? I would think most blacks would be insulted by some of the job creation in the stimulus bill. These jobs were available during the housing boom, they are mostly in construction. They weren’t filled by low income Americans, they were filled by illegal immigrants. Now that the jobs have dried up, the illegals have started returning to Mexico.

What happens when you can’t build another school or fix another road? You are going to go home unemployed just like the illegal immigrants. Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. It’s not ancient history, it’s currently happening.

And this is what you want me to fit into? It’s not encouraging people to start a business, it’s encouraging people to be laborers. I know this had to come from a movie. The white guy ruins the plans of the black character and then offers him a job cleaning out the stables. That what this is. Except the white guy is the Government.

No thank you! If I have to render myself incompetent and needing of government assistance to fit in, you can start sticking post-it notes with “kick me” on my back. I’m looking forward to the first person that tries.

Now, I have no compassion for the situations of millions of Americans. You are wrong. I know millions of Americans are struggling. But millions of Americans have been struggling. Why start choosing which places are in most desperate need of Assistance? Why not start with the communities that have needed the assistance the longest?

I’ll tell you. They already have most of those communities addicted to assistance. Now they are trying to branch out. Why put money into an area where your vote is assured? Instead, money will go to areas that are currently weak and ripe for government take over. All they need; you to fit in and let them take over.

3. Black People can’t be racist

Racism– The belief the race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to another

I was told that black people can’t be racist because white people have more power. Then today, I get hit with the same comment, this time with Barack Obama in the White House. I should stop there but I won’t.

What is the argument against blacks ability to be racist? We are in fact inferior and racial feelings are justified by our inadequacies? We lack the human character and ability to think we are better than another race? I can’t even believe I had to write that.

Does the comfort of having an excuse make you over look the obvious insult you condemn us to? While complaining of stereo-typing, you clutch on to it for dear life.

Black people are not immune to racism. To say we are, puts us in the inferior position. We are somehow lacking the fortitude to think we are better. I could be a racist, I choose not to be.

I feel cheap having to say that.

4. I Love My Master

Not all slaves hated their masters. Some were willing to die to protect them. Not out of fear, but out of gratitude. Other slaves were beat and their families were split apart, but some masters were good. They gave their slaves nice living quarters, good food, and didn’t mingle in slave affairs. That’s all well and good, but they were still slaves.

They were told where to work, when to procreate, and were still subject to the master’s whim. I’m speaking in generalities here. I think you love your master more.

I don’t want to be subject to Master’s whims. He can give me a nice house, money for food, and a job building schools in a district in which I don’t live. As long as I fit in. As long as I agree that he knows what’s best for me. And since I can come and go as I please, everything is all good.

Since it’s Black History Month, let learn some history.

sharecropper- A tenant farmer who gives a share of crops raised to the landlord in lieu of rent

Was the age of sharecropping any better than slavery? Yes, blacks were able to come and go as they pleased, generally, but most did not own what they worked for. They did the labor and were forced to give a majority of what they made to someone else. Dare I say, like a tax.

And this money wasn’t redistributed back into the community. It lined the pockets of greedy and corrupt men. Does this sound familiar? It should. It’s happening again today. To many individuals have money. Let’s gather it and put it in the hands of Master (the government) and we’ll handle it all.

All I have to say is, where is the money from the first T.A.R.P.? Buying private jets and expensive vacations for the same people that caused the problem? And this is your Master.

I pass. I’ll be the master of my own destiny. You sharecrop away.

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I did it again. I fell into the trap of answering my critics. I’ll give myself a pass this time. It was fun.