Browsing: Inspiration

First, I’d Like To Say Thank-You

April 27th, 2009 | By

I’m back!!!!!!!!!

In case you haven’t heard, I got a new radio show. Yeah!!

That is the reason I’ve been lacking on my blog writing. I’m trying to stay positive for the show and as you know most of my blogs tend to be more critical. So, I’ve been keeping clean and pure thoughts the last couple weeks.

Last week, I met the first person to recognize me from my blog. Super excited, I immediately began to blush. I’m a simple girl, I like simple things and to be recognized really touched me.

But I speak to soon. He did not heap praises upon me, nor did he ask for my autograph. Instead, he questioned why I’m giving up now.

This hit me like a ton of bricks because I don’t see myself as giving up. I think I’m just elevating the fight. But he did not see it that way.

“You write limited stories on Obama and the destruction he is causing our Country. And what makes it twice as bad, you do it in a nice way. What happened to make you go soft?”

After I picked my lip off the floor, I said “Thank you”.

Not for reading my blog. Not for recognizing my face. I said thank you for caring about the country you live in. Thank you for giving me another black face that is tired of the status quo. Thank you for being one concerned citizen with the power to affect change, I mean real change.

More upset than before he yells, “There you go again. Where is that ghetto girl that snaps and thinks about it later?”

I couldn’t answer. I know I’m not the same as I was a year ago but am I really that different now?

So, to the chocolate covered gum drop that caused me, ME, of all people to go silent I say, Kudos. When I first started writing this blog, I didn’t care what anybody thought of what I wrote. Now, I considering what will be said and how to combat those who would disagree. I’m missing that snap now and think about it later.

But that’s not a bad thing. It shows a growth process. I love to argue but I want actual change more than I want a personal rush for myself. So, right now I may have to play along. Right now, I may have to mind my manners and guard my talk. But right now is not forever.

So Yes, my first response may be grateful and humble, that doesn’t mean I’ve lost my sting. It just means, I’m learning to play the game. You can’t change the rules if you haven’t first mastered the originals.

The lessons of my ghetto still hold strong. I know better than to walk in a room and lay all my cards on the table. I always keep a spade hidden.

So don’t fret, the fight continues. The only difference, you’ll have a better educated General leading the attack. Isn’t that worth the wait?

It’s On My Mind: Take One Step, Then Grow Up

March 24th, 2009 | By

Conservative Whisper

I’ve got a lot on my plate these days. Believe me, I’m not complaining. I’ve come a long way and I’m happy with my progress, but more money brings more problems. In this case, more success leads to more problems.

It’s the classic crabs in a barrel scenario. If someone sees you doing good, their first instinct in to try to pull you down. O.K. maybe it’s a second instinct. The first is when they choose to be a hater.

Whether it’s their first or second thought doesn’t matter, their intent is always the same; misery loves company and they are miserable.

Can I share a quick story?

Once upon a time, in a land that was gray and unforgiving, there lived a man. He was an ordinary man. He’d lived through immense struggles and conquered major hurdles to survive to a rip age of 25.

When he hit this magical number, he took inventory of his life. He didn’t have a steady job, no savings, he was barely able to keep a roof over his head, and he had no one that loved him with that special love. He realized his life wasn’t progressing as it should.

So, an angel came to the man. The man didn’t believe in angels. Where were the angels when he was hungry, lonely, or depressed by the hand he was dealt? Where was the angel when those around him with hearts of gold suffered immeasurable loss?

The angel told him there were lessons to be learned and as of yet, he never took one opportunity to learn from his mistakes. That’s why he couldn’t see her. He was so busy doing it his way, he paid no attention to the blessing being placed all around him.

Once the angel put the blame squarely at the Man’s feet, the man had no choice but to react. He called her every name but a child of God. This shocked the angel because she had watched him share what he didn’t have, help others when his hands and back were sore, and she watched as he took others’ problems and loaded them on his shoulders.

The angel responded, “Grow Up”. You have been put in a position to help others. You have lived a life I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, but you made it out and there is Love and Healing on the other side. But you have to be willing to accept it.


I think we are losing our way because we refuse to accept that we can actually solve our problems. I’ve been talking to a lot of different people lately, and I’ve come to this conclusion; everyone is aware of what problems exist, they just don’t care to solve them.

We all need to realize, it all starts with a single step. One step out on faith and mountains will move. We have moved mountains or have we forgotten?

But that one step means nothing if you don’t grow up after taking it. If you don’t realize that a problem is nothing but a solution waiting to be found, the problem will persist and fester. The next time you look back at the problem, it’s increases 10 fold.

We’ve looked back and placed blame, but when will we stop calling the problem everything but a child of God. When will we start calling on God to solve the problem.

The Other Side of Education: “Cupid” and “Nappy Head”

March 17th, 2009 | By

Yesterday, my niece called because she needed some help with her algebra homework. I pick her up and notice she is wearing clothes I know her parents would not approve of. I say nothing and we head to my house. About 10 minutes after we get there, a knock comes tapping at my door.

Not surprised, I open the door to see a little nappy headed boy standing in front of me. My niece shyly hid her face like she wasn’t interested in who was at the door. He manages to mumble out, Did I see “cupid” come in here. I smile and invite him in.

My niece is smiling like she got away with some thing, I let her have her moment. I leave the two unattended for about 20 minutes then I make my return and the real fun began.

When I got back, they had their math books open and were doing home work. They were giving each other little smiles and pokes in between but they were really accomplishing work. I sat at the table and asked if they had any questions.

“Nappy Head” said no. He had a good grasp of math, he just wanted to help “cupid” study. Cupid just looked away, not fully sure how I was going to re-act after the fact. I calmed her fears with a little verbal jabbing and she enjoyed her study date with “Nappy Head”.

“Nappy Head” said “There are two forms of education, knowledge you get from school and knowledge you get from life. Neither is more important than the other.”

I questioned his thought. He informed me it wasn’t his thought, it was his interpretation of a W.E.B. Dubois. (You’ll understand the relevance of this in a couple days.)

I got caught in my stereo-typing. I didn’t assume he was dumb, but I did assume he was broke. The more I chatted with “Nappy Head”, I realized he was smarter than the average bear. He wore plain jeans, an almost white tee, and a pair of boots too scratched to know the brand. I didn’t realize the err of my ways until I spotted the $280 watch on his arm. It was a plain black Citizen Echo, just like the one I got my hubby for Christmas.

So I questioned, “What do you plan on doing with your life?”

He answered, “I’m going to be a millionaire.”

So I questioned, “How do you plan on becoming a millionaire?”

He answered, “When I get enough money, I’m going to open a barber shop and let my uncle cut hair. Then, I’m going to start investing in real estate. It’s the perfect time to come up like Donald Trump.”

So I questioned, “How do you plan on getting enough money to open a barber shop?”

He answered, “Me and my uncle do what we got to do.”

At this moment, my nieces’ whole attitude changed. He parents shelter her so much, she is unaware of things right in front of her. I could tell, the more he talked the more she learned about him. What would’ve happened if she never caught on and got caught out there?

So I question, “Do you know it makes it a lot harder to secure a loan if you are a convicted felon? If doing what you do causes your dream to become harder to reach, is it worth it?”

He answered, “I’d rather take that chance than spend another night hungry, cold, and too mad at life to dream.”

I didn’t feel sorry for “Nappy Head”. But the truth of the matter is, more than likely he’ll be the one that gets popped. They always seem to catch the one’s that do it more out of necessity than greed. But what could I tell him? He picked a path to walk, knew the stakes, but decided it was worth the risk.

I told “Nappy Head” we make dinner at 6:00 every night and it’s always warm in my house. If he decided the risk was to great, he was welcome in my home. He nodded and they said their goodbyes.

Now, it was time to deal with my niece. I gave her no indication of what was to come. I drove her home and walked her into the house. There, I told her parents how she concocted her little meeting with “Nappy Head” by lying and setting me up.

She looked at me like she was shocked. In her mind, I’m sure I had destroyed what ever trust she had in me. Allowing her to sneak and lie with me as a cover was unacceptable and she had destroyed the trust I had in her to do the right thing, no matter how hard it was.

I turned to my niece, in front of her parents, “You did the wrong thing, even if it was for the right reason. If you were my daughter, I would have no problem with you having supervised visits with a boy. I’m not high-strung or over bearing, like some people. But I am not your mother or father, and it’s not my place to teach you how to disobey their wishes.

If you had came to me and said, I like this boy but my parents won’t let me see or talk to him, then I could’ve helped you work it out with them. Instead you chose to lie and that’s not cool.” She was then sent to her room.

One of my best friends and her husband, stood in front of me like, “We don’t know what we are going to do with her.”

I looked at my friend, “Let her see boys. She is 14, a good student, and respectful child. But she is also growing up and you have to let her get the other side of her education. The boy she likes sells drugs and she didn’t even know it.

If you make her sneak, she will sneak, and you have no control over the decisions she makes. But if you nurture her through the process, then she will keep you in the loop and you can have some influence over her life.”

I came home and looked at my daughter. She is beautiful, smart and full of attitude. I hope I can heed my own advice when it comes to my child. I’ll keep my fingers crossed and prayers heading to heaven.

What Made Me Conservative?

March 1st, 2009 | By

For Lent, I decided to stop judging myself so harshly. Ask how’s that going for me. Not good, not good at all but I’ll push forward. To make up for my inability to give myself a break, I’ve also massively turned down my XBox Live time. I’m sad about this, just give me a minute.

While I was flipping through the channels yesterday, I passed by Fox and Rush Limbaugh address to CPAC was on. In Rush’s first address to a national audience, I found so many reason’s to cheer. I got a different take for you, as I often do.

I questioned yesterday, when did I become “conservative”? I came to one undeniable truth, I’ve been conservative since the first time my mother gave me an allowance. We were on welfare, I’m talking public housing and food stamps. You know what I’m talking about, the peanut butter with just a picture of a peanut on the front, yeah.

Anyways, every summer when it was time for the ice cream truck to roll around, my mother would give us an allowance. We got $2 a week. Back then, the lady on the corner sold frozen Kool-aid for .25 cent and ice cream cost .50 cent off the truck. With $2 you were ballin.

When I got to the age when I was paying attention, something seperated us from the other little kids in the neighborhood. They went to the ice cream truck with food stamps. My mother refused to let us spend foodstamps on anything. If she didn’t have cash to give us, then she would go to the store and buy us ice cream with the food stamps. If I haven’t said this enough, I miss my Mom.

She was so old school. One summer, we were in the store and I saw this set of books I wanted. Yes, I was such a nerd. I knew better than to ask my mother for them, she didn’t play that. I started to save my $2 a week. I did it quitely. I snuck in the house when the ice cream truck rolled around so no one would pick on me for being the only person without a treat.

One day, I went to count my money and it was missing. I lost my mind crying, another thing my mother didn’t tolerate. She would make you completely stop crying before you told her what was wrong. I told her about my money and she was happy.

Not that it was stolen but that I took initaitive to save. She quickly found out my brother had taken my money and spent every single dime. He got a beating but I still lost all the money I had saved.

I was mad as hell. I had saved and he got to spend, why didn’t I get my money back? My mother told me, shit happens and you have to find a way to get past it. I was pissed. I called my dad and told him what happened. He came huffing and puffing and took me to the store to buy those books.

What’s my point?

All I cared about as a kid was, what was fair? It didn’t matter that my mother was trying to teach me a lesson, it wasn’t fair and I wanted no part in it. My dad riding in on his white horse proved that life was fair.

Until I got older and realized, waiting for someone to ride up on their white horse is frivolous endeavor. Not because it won’t happen, but because you lose the experience letting someone else save you.

My mom was trying to teach me how to get up when I fell down. My dad didn’t teach me anything, except if you cry I’ll bend. Which lesson do you think is more effective now that I’m grown?

One more little story before I tie them all together. My mother had friends of every color. Race never bothered her. For those of you who don’t know, I was adopted, so I didn’t look like the other members of my family. I was lighter and skinnier and stuck out like a sore thumb.

I was often ridiculed. My sister and brother would call be ‘yellow’, ‘red’, and ‘orange’. I hated it. My mother would always pull me aside and ask if I thought I was beautiful. I was an awkward kid. I didn’t think anything about me was beautiful, but my mom made me constantly ask myself what I saw when I looked in the mirror.

Being the typical kid, I just wanted her to make them stop. She would, but not before she made me realize nothing they said changed who I really was. I was high yellow and skinny and that’s how God made me. The rest was irrelevant.

These are the lessons that make me conservative. I thought about all this yesterday as I watched Limbaugh speak. My mother never wanted us to go on welfare, she didn’t even want us to use foodstamps. My mother believed you will get knocked down, it’s only important that you get up. But most importantly, she taught me only you can make yourself a victim.

My mother made me conservative.

You think that’s all, don’t you? Not by a long shot. I moved with my dad when I was 11 or 12 and everything changed. No one checked my homework, made sure I went to school, or gave me a time to come in the house. I did whatever I wanted. All I had to do was keep my grades up.

So, what did I do with no one pushing me forward, I stood still. I made all the wrong choices and with each mistake, my father was there to bail me out. No questions asked, no long drawn out speeches about what I did wrong; just complaints about how he had to miss time at work to deal with me.

Now, my boys, they kept me quite conservative as well. I was trying to think of a single situation where Obama’s plan of government would fly on street level, and it does. Except by fly, I mean bullets wheezing through the air looking for a target. Imagine telling the top drug man on your block, he has to re-distribute his wealth.

Think about it. Imagine another crime family telling Scarface, you make to much money, you have to give us some. The street level dealer can’t make it without you. What would happen to the street level dealer? (I’m going to make up a story like that soon, I got some other points to add.)

He wouldn’t get a dime and if by some chance Scarface would’ve given him the money, nobody would’ve liked Al Pacino anymore. He would be soft and un-gangsta. The only respectable way to get Scarface’s money would be to take him out.

If we applied the same principles to real life, instead of complaining for the top to give up some of what they have, we would go and take it from them. I’m not talking about killing rich people. I’m talking about creating the businesses and technologies to take their place at the top.

Instead we stand back and hate on what they have. When did we become haters? When did we start hating the players and not the game. What’s even worse, we invented it and still can’t live up to it.

I know I get off subject, but the truths are still there. No one member of your group is going to pay for everybody no matter how much money they have and they shouldn’t have to . And you know your boys, would they continue to hang out with you if they always had to pay your way? Would you keep floating someone you know doesn’t even try?

No, but you expect the Government to.

The streets made me conservative.

Most importantly, above my mother and every friend I’ve ever known, God had made me Conservative.

All things are possible through the Lord that strengthens me. Not through Barack Obama, the Democratic Party, and the United States Government. God said we should only worship one Savoir and to beware of false idols. They will come claiming to have all the answers, all you have to do is follow.

I choose to follow God. When everything in my heart tells me that something is wrong, I trust it. When I pray for guidance and these are the words I type, they are not from me alone. I won’t let my heart be troubled by those who criticise and judge me for always, and I do mean always, stepping out on faith.

Faith that God has his hands on us and this to shall pass, as long as we are willing to stand up and give him praise.

In these trying days, are we putting more faith in a Man, than in the Lord. If only Barack can save us, then where is God’s part in all this? I know the politically correct thing is to separate church and state, but I have a problem with people that can do that. I can’t cut off my belief in God for anything. I can question his word but never just place it on the back burner.

Is this the ultimate step in taking God out of our society? We are a nation that prays and worships. When did we start praying to Obama, Pelosi, and Reid instead of the God for help with our mortgage, children, and everything else? When did we establish false ideals it was O.K. to worship?

God made me conservative

I purposely didn’t point out the one time in my life when I was liberal. I mentioned it, but I didn’t bring notice to it. Can you pick it out?

Bingo. When I let my dad solve all my problems for me. It was the unhappiest time in my life. Want to know why? When I should have been planning for college, I didn’t have a care in the world. When I should’ve been building a network of close friends, all my friends were being arrested or killed. When I should have been dreaming about a bright future, I was failing to prepare for any future at all.

Why? My dad was there to ride up on his white horse when ever I needed him. I don’t have to worry about college, my day will take care of it. He always has. It took me 7 years to go back to school and it wasn’t because my dad made it happen.

It came when I lost my mom and realized all the lessons she had taught me made strong enough to make it. It doesn’t matter if Bush or Obama is in office. I’ll be O.k because I’m not afraid to fail. Even though I hate failure with the passion of a thousand burning moons, I know I can get back up. I’ve done it a hundred times.

I guess I could say, Life has made me Conservative

Knowing Your Faults, Maybe Accepting Them: Giving Up For Lent

February 26th, 2009 | By

I’m going to make this short and sweet.

Every year around this time, I’m forced to re-evaluate myself. My mother maybe gone, God rest her Soul, but her words stick with me. “You can’t constantly look back, you have to more forward, but every once in a while turn around and see what you have left behind you. ”

Now, that was just a paraphrase. Her speech would involve more cursing and strict talk. I miss my Mom.

Easter is fast approaching, Spring in close pursuit, and the chance for ultimate rebirth and renewal is charging upon us. What better time to pick something about your self to work on?

I was thinking about what to give up for Lent. Before I started writing this blog, I was content on giving up Video Games. I just finished Fable 2, more on that to come, and I would’ve been content to wait 40 days and nights before I picked up the controller again.

As I wrote the first title and erased it, I realized the immaturaty of vowing not to play the video game. Is that the main source of conflict in me? No, so maybe I should take this time to do some thing a bit more fruitful. You know, something that will have results that last me a lifetime.

In my self anaylsis, I realized that’s my major downfall. I take an action. Then instead on immediately taking another, with careful planning, I judge the first. Which is not that bad. Except the spotlight of my mind is bright and far reaching. Nothing could live up to that kind of scrutiny.

For 40 days and 40 nights, I will not critize myself.

I believe you have to look at yourself for happiness because looking elsewhere will lead to nothing but disappointment. You also have to trust yourself enough to believe that all your prayers and hard work will guide your path.

The problem comes with people who have made so many mistakes and learned from them. I have made so many mistakes. <-(Place 200% emphasis on that line) I’ve even repeated the same mistakes multiple times. Hell! I’ve created new mistakes trying to stay away from the old ones.

Mistakes are neccesary, but at what cost?

I’m not going to answer that question. Why? Because I would break my promise.

Instead, I’ll offer this. Prepare yourself. This could be one bumpy ride.


I encourage every body to try making a minor sacrifice during this time of Lent. I don’t care if your not Christian or you don’t believe in God. It matters not. Make up a new name for it and roll on.

Make sure to take the time and think about what ails your life.

If you are in financial debt, lock down the credit cards and only use cash.

If you over eat, elimate all snacking. (you don’t have to stop eating regular food. Small steps.)

If you are in a shaky relationship, start a serious dialoge and no response is a definate response.

If you are a addict, give up the places you go not the vice itself.

If you are a death and damnation Christian, walk amonst those who live in hell.

If you are a non-believer, talk to Me.

If you are broke, try to find beauty is something with no cost.

If you are rich, search for the great responsibility held in your wealth.

If you are just plain unhappy, Smile. Just fake it and Smile.

More importantly, add my vow on top. Don’t look back for 40 days and 40 nights. Then, we can all look back and pray we have learned a lesson to last a life time.

To Blend In or To Stand Out: Does My Choice Make Me?

February 9th, 2009 | By

The same old fight. It’s like I’m the light-skinned well bred negro surrounded by all the thugs and hustlers and I have to prove I’m some how worthy. I’m not going to do it. Instead, I’ll bring the fight to you. That’s what I’m good at.

The more I write on the blog, the more I learn. A lot of people won’t leave a comment but will fill my e-mail with some silly mess. Which perplexes me because you can comment anonymously. So, I’m beginning to think I’m changing some minds or at least planting seeds of doubt about the Democratic Party. If you don’t want to be anonymous on my blog then why send your personal e-mail address to me via message.

You want me to reply to you. O.K. I got you. Just tell a sister you might not agree right now, but you’re willing to listen if I can just convince you. And I shall oblige.

Classic High School Story. The kid who wants to do his own thing is bullied by the kids who want him to know his role. I’ve said this a million times. I know my role. You have no jurisdiction telling me what makes me who I am. Period. That’s all, point blank.

My role is to stand out. Not because I choose to, but because that’s what it is. I believe what I believe and for that I catch flack. I got tough skin, I’ll be O.K.

But there comes a time when the same old arguments need to be laid to rest. This is something that’s been eating on my conscience for a while.

1. I’m damned if I do, Damned if I don’t

In trying to find my own voice, I’ve had to do a mental check on who I am. See, I don’t need your assistance dissecting my own cerebral, I do it voluntarily. You should try it. (I’m sorry, I’m in one of my moods.)

I realized, I didn’t fully appreciate how much I learned from being poor and black in America. I lived in a house with no bathroom or running water; being broke could never break my spirit. As long as I got Tupac, Jay-z, Mary J., Rick James, Earth, Wind and Fire; should I continue? It’s O.K. Sprinkle in a couple people that love me and a bank account the reads zero doesn’t matter. My mom made it and I will too.

But that’s not enough. I also want to be educated. Not by the ignorant masses that follow self-interest serving black faces, but by the actions of those who were given nothing and achieved something.

So, I follow Nannie Helen Burroughs 12 rules but speak like an uneducated hip hopper. What color does that make me? I get hit with this from both sides. The older people in my life agree with principles of which I speak. They just wish I would change the phrasing of certain things, you know make it sound more educated. Then my peers hit me with, your a self hater because you think we need to fit in.

I’m laughing at both. Does it matter how I say it, if I’m passionate about it in my heart? Does it even matter to you that Nannie Burroughs was black? Or did I just choose to be a thorn in both their sides because I don’t fit in?

I think the latter. I don’t care if you think I’m ghetto. Dispute me on the facts. The natural me will come out and she isn’t proper and petite and she doesn’t like being handled or put in her place. When, not if, my southern drawl and sometimes improper language comes shining through, that’s me. So complain from both sides, I love being the center of attention.

2. Who Allows You To Fit In

In the full swing of another Awards Season, I thought I would point this out. Am I the only one who doesn’t watch the Movie Awards because they never nominate black movies I think were excellent? I know I’m not the only one.

So, let’s think about this. We all know Hollywood is run by the Left, the Democrats. They are the party of black people right? Why are we still complaining about no black movies getting attention. I mean in the natural progression of things, shouldn’t we have started to garner more awards and accolades?

Gay marriage is the current topic of discussion and so goes their focus. Does this negate great black stories from having a role? Or did they give us one for Hallie and one for Denzel and think we should be satisfied for now?

And this is where you want to fit in? I would think most blacks would be insulted by some of the job creation in the stimulus bill. These jobs were available during the housing boom, they are mostly in construction. They weren’t filled by low income Americans, they were filled by illegal immigrants. Now that the jobs have dried up, the illegals have started returning to Mexico.

What happens when you can’t build another school or fix another road? You are going to go home unemployed just like the illegal immigrants. Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. It’s not ancient history, it’s currently happening.

And this is what you want me to fit into? It’s not encouraging people to start a business, it’s encouraging people to be laborers. I know this had to come from a movie. The white guy ruins the plans of the black character and then offers him a job cleaning out the stables. That what this is. Except the white guy is the Government.

No thank you! If I have to render myself incompetent and needing of government assistance to fit in, you can start sticking post-it notes with “kick me” on my back. I’m looking forward to the first person that tries.

Now, I have no compassion for the situations of millions of Americans. You are wrong. I know millions of Americans are struggling. But millions of Americans have been struggling. Why start choosing which places are in most desperate need of Assistance? Why not start with the communities that have needed the assistance the longest?

I’ll tell you. They already have most of those communities addicted to assistance. Now they are trying to branch out. Why put money into an area where your vote is assured? Instead, money will go to areas that are currently weak and ripe for government take over. All they need; you to fit in and let them take over.

3. Black People can’t be racist

Racism– The belief the race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to another

I was told that black people can’t be racist because white people have more power. Then today, I get hit with the same comment, this time with Barack Obama in the White House. I should stop there but I won’t.

What is the argument against blacks ability to be racist? We are in fact inferior and racial feelings are justified by our inadequacies? We lack the human character and ability to think we are better than another race? I can’t even believe I had to write that.

Does the comfort of having an excuse make you over look the obvious insult you condemn us to? While complaining of stereo-typing, you clutch on to it for dear life.

Black people are not immune to racism. To say we are, puts us in the inferior position. We are somehow lacking the fortitude to think we are better. I could be a racist, I choose not to be.

I feel cheap having to say that.

4. I Love My Master

Not all slaves hated their masters. Some were willing to die to protect them. Not out of fear, but out of gratitude. Other slaves were beat and their families were split apart, but some masters were good. They gave their slaves nice living quarters, good food, and didn’t mingle in slave affairs. That’s all well and good, but they were still slaves.

They were told where to work, when to procreate, and were still subject to the master’s whim. I’m speaking in generalities here. I think you love your master more.

I don’t want to be subject to Master’s whims. He can give me a nice house, money for food, and a job building schools in a district in which I don’t live. As long as I fit in. As long as I agree that he knows what’s best for me. And since I can come and go as I please, everything is all good.

Since it’s Black History Month, let learn some history.

sharecropper- A tenant farmer who gives a share of crops raised to the landlord in lieu of rent

Was the age of sharecropping any better than slavery? Yes, blacks were able to come and go as they pleased, generally, but most did not own what they worked for. They did the labor and were forced to give a majority of what they made to someone else. Dare I say, like a tax.

And this money wasn’t redistributed back into the community. It lined the pockets of greedy and corrupt men. Does this sound familiar? It should. It’s happening again today. To many individuals have money. Let’s gather it and put it in the hands of Master (the government) and we’ll handle it all.

All I have to say is, where is the money from the first T.A.R.P.? Buying private jets and expensive vacations for the same people that caused the problem? And this is your Master.

I pass. I’ll be the master of my own destiny. You sharecrop away.


I did it again. I fell into the trap of answering my critics. I’ll give myself a pass this time. It was fun.

A Three Pronged Approach to a New Life, Not Just a New Year

January 9th, 2009 | By

We are already 9 days into the New Year and I have yet to offer some sound advice on how to make it through 2009. My platform for this release failed to come to fruition, so my blog will have to do.

My words are not absolute. Just look at the top of my page and you’ll understand I’m fully aware that the learning curve never ends. Tomorrow might bring new advice that contradicts what’s said here and that’s a great thing. It means that growth is continuous.

So let’s jump in head first.


It’s God

If you know anything about my blog, you know I have a strong belief in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is the first necessity in my approach.

  • Remember and understand the Lords Prayer

Everyone knows the Lord’s Prayer. If you don’t, let me refresh your memory.

Our Father, which art in heaven

Hallowed be thy name

Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those that trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil

For thine is the kingdom, the Power and Glory

Forever and ever, Amen

There are two very important parts of this prayer that will help you make it through the New Year.

Thine Will Be Done

Change the way you pray. So many times, we ask for the specifics. Lord, help me get out of debt. Lord, help me lose this weight. These are called selfish prayers. God didn’t get you into debt. God didn’t make you gain all the weight. Nor is it God’s purpose to correct these issues for you.

So, instead pray for God’s will to be done. The Lord wants you to be happy, healthy and financially sound. But that won’t happen because your debt has been wiped clean. Especially if you continue with the same destructive habits. Pray for strength to make it through the next day and God will give you that strength and while you are allowing him to work things out in your life at his pace, you will have time to realize you play a role in making this thing happen. And his will brings peace.

Second Forgive our Trespasses, As we forgive those that Trespass against us

We all must learn to forgive

I’ve always believed the hardest person to forgive is ones self. But we have to get pass it. We allow ourselves to constantly remember all the mistakes we’ve made, while forgetting to congratulate ourselves for noticing we have faults. Because once we realize we are not perfect we can begin fixing our problems.

My main request in this New Year, as this applies, Don’t wait to fix your problems before going to the Lord. You have the scenario all backwards. Once you take your sin to him, he forgives. So take it to him and leave it there. Take your addiction, indifference, or constant failure and let him carry it while you continue to work on forgiving other people.

Don’t hold on so tightly to what you have done, that you forget life is still moving forward. You have time to make a change, as long as you take advantage of it.

So, now that you have God in your life, what’s next?


It’s You

Self responsibility is also a major piece to this giant puzzle called life. But today I’m talking about another aspect of you.

  • Make sure to take care of your star player

Who can you help if you don’t take care of yourself? This is a major issue I have to tackle. Learning to make sure I’m happy before trying to give that happiness to someone else.

The best way to explain this is the relationship between a parent and a child. You fix dinner for two, you and your child. Well, your child decides they want your portion of meat. And you being the mother, don’t want to deny your child sustenance, so you oblige.

You and your child both lose in this situation. You don’t get the protein you need. Your child doesn’t get the vitamins they need from eating their vegetables because they filled up on your meat. Now, they have the energy to fun around for hours and you don’t have the strength to keep up.

So, in 2009, make sure you are taking care of yourself. You can’t help your child if you don’t first help yourself. You can’t help anyone if you don’t first help yourself.

This also means find things to laugh at. In our politically correct world, humor is beginning to fade. First you have to take into consideration all the people you might offend by laughing. Then you have to consider what will be thought of you once you laugh. Bump that. Laugh hard and often. Especially at the haters.

When you feel like you can’t take another step, look around at those who wish they were stepping in your shoes. Realize no matter how bad you have it, someone else has it worse. This may provide a little comfort but don’t revel in it. Use it as motivation to continue to do you. Because if you are praying for the Lord’s will to be done, you’re not finished yet.

And one more quick thing, don’t be afraid to learn who you are. Figure out your moral and value system and stick to it. Find out what you are good at and become great at it. Figure out what’s lacking in your life and begin to fill the holes with productivity. Learn to love yourself, flaws and all.


It’s the People Around You

No one can make it in this world alone. It’s important that we build a strong support system to help us through.

  • Make sure you know the people around you

O.K. If you have negative people around you, negative shit will come to you. Everybody knows that. So let’s not talk about what we already know, let’s take it from a different perspective. How do you know which friends to keep and which ones’ to get rid of?

The basics, if you are an alcoholic, don’t hang around drinkers. If you are a drug addict, don’t hang around users. What about if you are a shopaholic? What about if you are a eataholic? Shouldn’t the same rules apply?

If you have a friend who answers a bad day by inviting you on a shopping trip, this could be just as toxic as injecting heroin. If you have a friend that answers a bad day by going to an all you can eat buffet, this could be just as toxic a four day drinking binge. And these friends should be treated as such.

We pacify people way to much in this day and age. We judge a homeless person with a bottle on the corner, but not the average business man that needs a drink after a long shift. Who really had the worse day and needs the drink more?

In the same instance, we forget to place adequate blame at the footsteps of those who help us develop bad habits. We blame Bush for our personal economy, instead of the friend who talked us into buying a dress we didn’t need with money we didn’t have. Or we blame McDonalds’ for the calorie count instead of the friend who had to stop to get a snack before going home to make dinner.

These people have a real effect on our lives and we should realize it before it’s to late. You are praying for the Lord’s will to be done and you are working on loving yourself, do you really have the time to let others habits affect you? Even those that seem trivial. Does it matter if you spent money on clothes or drugs, if in the end all the money is gone? Does it matter if your health is fading because you drank to much or you ate to much, if in the end your health is gone? I don’t think so.

Just one more thing to add to this. Once you make the choice of which friends to eliminate, make sure you get to know the friends you replace them with.

We are always told if you want success, surround yourself with successful people. I have no beef with this assessment but I do have words of forewarnment. I think I just made up a word. Don’t allow yourself to be judged by someone else’s ego.

Most people who figured these things out before us, tend to look down upon us. They have the opinion that they figured it out and now you have to catch up. This isn’t always true. The lessons they apply to their lives might not work well in yours.

This is especially true with the Alpha Males. Once you question them, they have the need to show the world they got it together and it usually comes at the expense of the new guy. They pat you on your head like a good dog, then set off to prove you can’t possible do it like them.

And once they go into defensive mode, you are left feeling like you failed. You didn’t. A new successful friend can be as insecure as an old unsuccessful friend. The whole point of surrounding yourself with these people is to figure out how to do the best you and not how to become the next them.

So, expect to lose friends when trying to come up. Some people will claim they want nothing but the best for you, until it comes to their opinion being questioned. Then it becomes, I’ll show you. Don’t fall into the trap. Smile and move on. If they are a true friend, they will realize they don’t walk on water. If they are not, better to find out sooner rather than later.

So there you go. My tips for making it through the New Year. God, You, and then the People Around You. Make sure you keep it in that order. And I wish you nothing but the best in the year to come. Whether you agree with me or not, all voices should be heard. So, I’ll keep talking and listening and who knows where the future might take us.

God Bless

Police: A Personal Story

January 6th, 2009 | By

When I was 18, I loved being bad. Hanging with the wrong people at the wrong place. Doing the wrong things for all the wrong reasons.

There was a cop that patrolled my old stomping grounds, Officer Booker. I don’t know if it was his real name or one given to him because of his appearance, but he was a real ass. He once gave one of my boys a ticket for riding his bike the wrong way down a one way street. (I know, I didn’t think they could do it either but he did.)

Well, a couple days after my 18th birthday, Officer Booker pulled me over because I had a broken tail light. He gave the whole riot act, then he got real with me. He reminded me I was now legal and if caught doing what he assumed I was doing, I would go to adult jail.

I’m not going to pretend that I listened. He let me go with a warning and I ignored his words. Within a few minutes, I was getting paged like crazy. 911 behind each beep. I returned to my stomping grounds to find it swarming with police.

They had gotten a search warrant for the apartment next to my boys and knocked hard on the door. My boys thought it was for them and their ass started chucking shit out the window. Which gave the police probable cause to search their apartment. No one lived in the apartment next to them.

They were all arrested and I was on the outside of the building, just watching. One of my boys, who wasn’t in the apartment at the time, arrived and started taunting the police. Of course, at the time I thought it was hilarious. Until he dropped a pack out of his pocket.

Like a dumb ass, I moved to cover up the evidence. You know, gotta protect your boys. Guess who saw me? Officer Booker. I know he saw me because I saw him looking at me. Another officer came to me and asked to see my ID. I told him he had no right to ask and I wasn’t going to give it him. I knew my rights.

That didn’t stop the officer from harassing me. It would’ve been easier if I didn’t have work under my foot or if my boys weren’t still giving the officer such a hard time.

(O.K. I learned something else that day that I would like to share real quick. Don’t hang out with stupid people that do stupid things. One of my boys told the police he makes more money in a month than the officer makes in a year. He told the cop this before he dropped his pack. If the officers weren’t being cautious because of the crowd starting to build, I’m sure the would have searched him right away.)

Anyways, as the cop continued to question me, Officer Booker came to my assistance. He told the cop I was a volunteer at the rec center and I’m constantly down here trying to help the kids. Which was kinda true. I helped all the kids with their homework and braided the girls hair if their mothers didn’t.

The cop left me alone and Officer Booker told me that was his last time offering me assistance.

I changed all my rules at that moment. If you were dirty, then don’t get in my car. If you did and we got pulled over, then I was going to point right at your ass. A myriad of things I used to do were no longer on the table and I give all the credit to Officer Booker.

A couple months later, one of my boys got off on a murder charge. One of the smartest of the group, he had saved alot of money and could afford a real lawyer not a court appointed. The day he got out, I went to see him. Everybody was happy and so was I. Until I saw Officer Booker ride by.

I left after saying hello and catching up a little. The next day, I received the call. My boy, who had just beat a murder charge, was dead. The night before, he had overdosed. Or so we thought.

Within the hour, Officer Booker came rolling by. My boo and I were outside and he motioned us over. I went but my boo did not. Come to find out, my boys drugs had been laced and more than likely so had the rest of the pack. If they sold it, they could be liable for murder.

I’m telling you this because I’ve had a couple of experiences with some real good cops and some real bad cops. Just as I’ve had good experiences and bad experience with black people. Just as I’ve had good and bad experiences with white people. Just as I’ve had good and bad experiences with men on the cloth. Just as I’ve had good and bad experiences with down right rotten criminals.

The bias held against police leads me to question the intent of those who level it. Back in the day, I hated police because I was always doing something wrong and they could be the ones that caught and punished me. Was this valid hate?

I’ve never been called a nigger by an officer. I’ve never been beaten by an officer. I’ve never been falsely accused of a crime.

But I’ve heard my boys being called a nigger. (I hate to admit it but they were acting as though the name fit them.)

But I’ve seen the marks left by an officer on my brother. (Even though he told the cops they were worthless pieces of shit, they still had no right.)

But I’ve seen false accusations lead to death by cops. (One of my boys got into shoot out with cops who wanted to question him for something he didn’t do and lost. What would have happened if they caught him on one of the many crimes he did commit?)

But I’ve also seen cops pull victims out of a burning car. I’ve seen cops try to comfort grieving mothers. I’ve had to ask a cop to help me find my wondering daughter. And I’ve personally experienced a cop changing the life of a young girl.

Maybe we should start placing the blame where it belongs, with the criminals. No matter if the criminal is dressed in a uniform or has his pants hanging down to his knees. They should all be held in the same light.

Let’s take any rap song. You hear the artist talking about pulling out a gun and shooting someone for looking at them wrong and it’s O.K., until that person is a cop. Then all the shit hits the fan. Why? Are cops held in higher esteem. No. They are in a position of power and they abuse that power. I get it.

I’m not finished with this. I have to go and take care of somethings and figure out exactly where to leave this. Come back a little later today and I’ll have this finished. Right now, I’m going to get paid.

Happy New Year

December 31st, 2008 | By

I bet you guys missed me. Thank you for the emails asking if I was O.K.

Yes, I am fine. And I’m not going any where. I haven’t written about Blagojevich or the auto bail out because I’m a little more concerned about Me. No one is perfect and we all have to go through our struggles. I am no different.

The differences come in how you deal with your situations.

So with the in coming of this New Year and in addition to the personal promises you make to yourself, I would like to put out a massive Resolution. Resolve to watch out for your star player.

These are not my words. They come from the comedy act of Katt Williams. But they are none the less so true. We spend so much time trying to solve problems for other people we forget that it doesn’t matter if they are O.K. if you aren’t O.K.

If you are continuosly trying to please your mate and it is causing your hair to fall out. Bump them. You deserve to be beautiful and stress free.

If you want your child to grow up strong and healthy, you have to be strong and healthy to lead them.

If you want true financial stability, then you have to learn to make sacrifices.

So, enjoy today and tomorrow and I’ll be back with the turn of the calender. A new year. A new attitude. With the same morals, values, and some surprises along the way. I’m looking forward to 2009 and I hope you come with me for the ride.


P.S. More in depth piece coming on taking care of your star player. But I want to leave you with this. Make someone hate on you this New Year. Get dolled up or G’d up and let the haters hate. Absorb every single moment and realize that you are worth it.

Giving Even When You Don’t Have

December 9th, 2008 | By

O.K. So after I left the Grocery Store, I took my daughter to Chuck E. Cheese. While she was running around playing, I met this woman. She was real nice. She catered to her kids more than I liked but to each it’s own.

I share alot of personal info on this blog but in person, I’m not that forth coming. I’m a pretty guarded person. Anyways, the lady started talking about how her sister had left her two kids with her. She hadn’t seen or heard from her sister in months. She didn’t know how she was going to make it, when she could barely take care of her two kids.

I shared my story with this woman. My mother was an addict and my father was still running the streets. I was given to someone else to raise. My mother had two kids of her own but treated me like I belonged. I can remember buying shoes out of the grocery store, eating government cheese, and having to share a bed with my younger sister. But we made it.

I told the woman, you recieve when you give. She had a faint smile on her face. I could tell she was finding it hard to believe what I was saying.

My daughter came to me and asked if she could have some of her birthday money. She’s been saving up to buy something special. I asked her why and she said the kids didn’t have tokens to play the games with her. I said O.K. and got each of them tokens. The mother said thank you with her head down. I wanted to make this woman feel better, I just didn’t know how.

My dude was ordering Pizza. I hate pizza from C.E.C. But I love my dude. While I was talking to the woman, my dude was watching the kids. They were complaining they were hungry. My dude went and ordered two pizza’s for the kids. The woman actually started to cry.

I took her hand and lead her into the bathroom. I asked her if she prayed. She told me no. I asked if it would be O.K. if I prayed for her. She said yes. I can’t remember the exact prayer but it went something like this.

Dear God

I’m glad you are on our side. We are not perfect, far from it, but you love us anyway. Thank You Lord. Please continue to give us strength because through you all things are possible. We walk in darkness knowing you will provide light. We push forward when our legs feel to weak to move because we know you didn’t bring us this far to let us down now. We lessen the weight on our heart bringing our prayers to you because we know you listen. And we know you won’t take us through more than we can bear, so lord we put our faith in you.

Please give us strength to get through tomorrow, for that’s all we can ask. Keep your hands on us so your will can be done. All these things we ask in your name oh lord. Amen.

The women kept her eyes closed after I finished. I assume she had private words to share with God.

When we went back to the table, all the kids were eating, laughing, playing, and have a great time. The woman smiled and joined her kids at the table. I sat at the adjacent table with my dude. He told me he had spent all our “fun” money for the week. I told him it was worth it.

I’m so blessed. My daughter understands it’s better to give than to recieve. My dude understands “fun” for us can be replaced with a blessing for someone else. I prayed with a woman I barely knew that was going through what I’m sure my mother went through once or twice.

So today, go out and find someone that needs a blessing. Even if you need one yourself, don’t worry about that. Go out and try to make someone else smile. Give someone else a pat on the back and say “I’m praying for you” or “Come and pray with me.” For there is power in prayer.