A Black Man’s Words

July 19th, 2008 | By Sonnie

Word spoken from my Father’s drunken lips

Eclipse any words spoken by another

Given the Source

You’d think I’d enforce, a notion to rediscover

If the facts He’d teach and the words He’d preach

Would help me to reach, his destinatioon

Maybe a Black Man’s Word isn’t for me

But it’s what I see

Lose in excuses, traumatized by abuses

Segregation

Degradation

Procrastination

Those are a Black Man’s Words

They cause

Stagnation

Aggrevation

Procrastination

Eventually total Annihilation

Not in existence

But in dreams

Cuz I’m here, A Black Man

Lost in excuses, traumatized by abuses

Standing in front of you with words

And Dreams

Dreams filled with

Motivation

Determination

Perspiration

Leading to an Allocation of Hope

That’s all I have

Hopes, Dreams, and a Black Man’s Words

This is a short from my Stage Play.

Dear Lover: Letter 1

June 5th, 2008 | By Sonnie

Dear Lover

I began our relationship with hopes of forever. I saw in you, MAGIC. You weren’t perfect, neither was I, but together we made sense. Where I was weak you made me strong, and I gave every bit of strength I had to you, without asking.

Now I find it difficult to see any magic. Where I once trusted you with my heart, I now cry above the broken pieces. Where I once cradled you in my soul, now echos with emptiness. Where I once held thoughts of a future, now pulses pain in my brain.

So what to do?

Shall I continue on or should I bail out? I pose this question to you. What will you do to get me to stay?

Let me answer. You don’t care, because I need you more than you need me. I’ve heard it a thousand times, You don’t care, but I stay.

So Dear Lover

I’ve found my self worth, and it’s worth more than you give. So I’ll walk away, with nothing but what I came with, and I’ll cry. I’ll want you back. I’ll think I need you back, but I’ll remember your words.

Your words, that once sparked magic, will now reinforce my self worth. Your words will become seeds that grow my self-confidence.

So thank you Lover

From you I’ve learned so much about myself. I don’t need you. I need to love myself enough to throw you aside.

I do love you. I just love me more.

TOO LITTLE TOO LATE

May 21st, 2008 | By Sonnie

You told me you loved me

And I loved you too

But I got a little tongue tied

And never managed to tell you

You told me you adored me

And for me, you’d always care

I never told you how I felt

I thought you’d always be there

You told me how you loved my eyes

How in the sun they would glisten

I never complimented you back

Sometimes I didn’t even listen

You tried to give me everything

If  you had it, it was mine

I was going to repay

But I ran out of time

You tried to please me

But to my standards, you could never live up

I tried to deny you

But know I would die for your touch.

You finally found that love

Promised to a true lover by fate

I tried to live up to those standards

But I gave Too Little Too Late

Beyonce “LISTEN”

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

When DREAMGIRLS was released Christmas Day 2006, I wasn’t in a rush to go and see it. I decided to wait for the DVD release. When that came out, I still didn’t rent it. It took a broken down train and hot bus to force me to watch it. A story for another day.

EDDIE MURPHY was brilliant as “Thunder Early”. Jimmy got soul, Jimmy got soul. How could you not love that? JENNIFER HUDSON, former AMERICAN IDOL winner, played the diva, Effie, and did a hell of a job at it. Her vocals gave heart and soul to the movie. JAMIE FOX played Curtis Taylor Jr., a strong willed producer with a by any mean neccessary philosphy.

My comments come on Deena, played by BEYONCE KNOWLES. I know the purpose of her character was to stand in the backround and she did a wonderful job of that. Her little concerts were cute, she was beautiful in her photo shoot, but she exploded in “Listen”.

Her awakening towards the ending was beautiful, and made me watch the movie over and over again. I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything, and my opinion, she was the one not listening.

When he refused to let her have a child, she wasn’t listening. When she had to sneak to talk about her future, she wasn’t listening. It wasn’t until he got bold enough to say it out right she got the message.

Take lesson in this. If at night you lay in bed and think about all the shit pushed on you by those who claim to love you, listen. If your constantly repeating your feelings on the same subject, listen. If there is something empty inside you and that person had no desire to fill it, listen.

When your words fall on deaf ears, a million words should be flying towards you. Don’t wait until they get bold enough to say it. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” MAYA ANGELO. Refer to my blog “TWO HEARTS”.

More than listening to what the other person is saying, listen to what your tellling yourself. If you’re trying to keep someone when that person is hurting you, listen to yourself. Would you give that advice to your best friend? Keep someone that’s no good for you.

Instead of expecting someone else to listen, do a little listening yourself.

Two Hearts

May 18th, 2008 | By Sonnie

When I was 17, I wanted a tattoo, but my mother refused.   She said I was to young to get something permanent on my body.  I was stubborn and didn’t listen, so I grabbed my friends I.D. and went to the tattoo parlor.

It was two weeks before my 18th birthday, and I was surrounded by walls and books full of pictures.

Lil backround.  I had graduated at 16.  I was working and had my own apartment.  I had been in love twice.  My first had taken my virginity and captured my intellect.  Plus my mom hated him.  More than that, he made me think, and I loved that.  He was older, more sexual, and so he cheated.  I broke it off.

Three years later, it happened again.  He made me furious.  He was constantly challenging my ability to deal with other people, which was hard for me.  He was toxic, but I loved him anyway.

I was still in love, but no longer with him when I was standing around all these pictures.  I saw it and I realized my mother was wrong.  I was old enough to realize something that would last my entire life.

Two major loves should be enough to know exactly what you want.  I’m not talking casual dating, I never did that.  I’m talking making yourself sick love.  You should know whick qualities you want and those that should send off red flags.  Even if those are attractive qualities to you, that’s what the arrows’ for.  Never forget the lessons learned in the first two.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Keep on a straight path to finding what you really want.  The blood dripping?  Let it go.  Don’t hold the next man accountable for your past.

In a nutshell, its my philosophy on love.  It can be summed up by Maya Angelo.  “When people show you who they are, believe them.”